theundecidedcat's reviews
207 reviews

Made me tear up so many times. Inspiring, wise, helpful, heartbreaking, hopeful, just a lovely book to read on all kinds of love and loss. The audiobook version is like listening to conversations with friends. Lovely. Recommend. 

Trigger warnings: miscarriages/suicide/death. 

While yes we got some greater character development, and story development. I’m not really liking the direction it’s taking currently. Also, this series is becoming less cute and fun to read :/ 

Very cute. Though that cat trauma story was a bit upsetting. I’m relieved the end was more positive. Curious what direction this manga takes, it’s kind of giving me Heartstopper but if it was manga vibes. 

It’s been ages since I’ve finished reading anything (yes I know it’s a manga but let me have this lil’ moment), so yay me for finishing something (yay!). I love this lil’ manga series, it’s so cute and wholesome, even makes me giggle! I’m going to be sad when it’s over. I wish more mangas like this one got turned into animes. 

Alright, so first of all, this book really made me realise, I need to learn to admit defeat and spare my time, energy, and sanity (and everyone else’s) and just DNF a fucking book (namely this one for example). 

I feel like I was robbed so much of my time and energy listening to this damn book and omg am I so glad I did the audiobook version and not the physical or ebook version because I don’t think I could have finished it otherwise. I went up to 1.5 just to finish the thing. 

Anyway, I want to say a few things that really bloody irked me about this book. 

1) I find it INCREDIBLE that somehow the author talks about gender, language, sex, sexuality, (barely and in passing) slut shaming, (when trying to be provocative, quirky, or point out negative connotations) sex workers, and yet somehow leaves out a HUGE chunk of history, stigma, abuse, violence, activism, evolution, and empowerment from sex workers and people who have actually been abused for their sexual behaviour and also have contributed to the reclaiming of the words when talking about sexual slurs. I think it really reflects poorly on her as a linguist to discuss language and gender and feminism and somehow leave out this whole group of people from the conversation. 

2) This is minor but it annoyed me. Sometimes she’d list a bunch of words to name the same thing but she’d miss a super common one or obvious one. Example, talks about mistress and master and somehow leaves out that both mistress and master can be used as BDSM terms. Also, so many super cringe moments and the references and “polls”, I felt like at points I did more well researched data collection as a uni student than Amanda Montell did for this book. 

3) I feel it’s impossible to talk about sexual terms, without going into the fact that most of society were raised with religious and traditional values which shamed those for sex so despite the world moving further apart from religion and traditional values, this shame about sex and this judgement of others sex lives remains. She didn’t go into that at all. 

4) Keeps talking about history and gender and language but leaves out sexual revolutions/movements, and how much religion and censorship has impacted on how society views sex and how it so often chooses what’s deemed appropriate and not. Barely even mentioned all the activism that has gone on over the decades for more sexual freedom. Never discusses the right to the choice to not get married, not have kids, use the pill (or other forms of birth control), have an abortion, have as much or as little sex as wanted, avoid censorship and whorephobia. Doesn’t even talk about whorephobia. 

5) To me this book reads like someone who has knowledge and interest in gender and linguistics but has only focused on areas that she’s comfortable in and in her world and people in her life live in, not including more complex areas that she wouldn’t know or care to know and therefore add but it’s those complex areas I care about. It’s like talking about one generation’s understanding of gender and language but missing many other generations of understanding. 

6) She talks against stereotypes a lot but also uses stereotypes frequently throughout the book????

7) Acknowledges that people use words or appearances of marginalised groups without experiencing any of the hardships or bigotry that the communities who made those things experiences. Also says how people don’t have to stop using these words or appearances but they could at least acknowledge and support the marginalised communities these things come from- exactly what I was thinking, but about the author and her exclusionary feminism, excluding sex workers and people who express themselves more sexually, feels a bit too SWERF for me. 

I don’t know, maybe I’m being harsh because i actually care about sexual freedom and I get sick of feminist books claiming to be for all women but you read it and realise it’s certainly not meant for you. Sick of all this exclusionary feminism. The next feminism book I read better be pro sex or I swear, I don’t know how many more I will be reading. 

Now don’t get me wrong, there was some things that were interesting in this book and I did learn some things and originally I was having a great time listening to it, and you may tell me that it’s not important or that that’s only one area and it’s not meant to be a lecture but I’m sorry this is a book on gender and language, a feminist take on language, so I don’t think this book is exactly a fun little joy ride anyway so why can’t it include some sexual liberation and sex positivity? I guess I just like my feminism served with inclusion not exclusion of women. 

Anyway, this book was a fucking slog and what kept me going was the idea I could write an angry review afterwards so here it is lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

Probably enjoyed this one more than Smashed, not quite as much as Shiver but I really enjoyed it. Creepy, spooky, fucked up, and cool. Read parts of this while it was late one night and super windy and rainy, was very creepy and really played on your paranoia, so good if you like giving yourself a scare. I’d say the first two stories and the last story in Lovesickness I liked the best but I liked all of Lovesickness. Narumi’s Boyfriend, The Mansion of Phantom Pain and The Rib Woman were probably my fave stories excluding Lovesickness. Keen to do some more Ito again.

Better volume than the last two for sure, bit more back to what I like about Komi Can’t Communicate. More of my fave characters focused on and more lil’ ship moments too. 

While I didn’t understand or love all the old American politics in it, and it also being a bit out dated. I did still really enjoy this one, I have just really been loving working my way through Nora Ephron’s books. The last 30% or so really reminded me why I love Ephron, she’s a romantic, she can feel like the everyday woman, she can be so relatable and honest and I just love her for that. I’ve done her last two published essay collections so far and I’m keen to try the semi autobiographical/fictional novel Heartburn next. Definitely thinking essay collections might be my new favourite thing to read. 

Probably the quickest I’ve read a book in a while. Honestly I should have read Nora Ephron’s books a long time ago. I’ve been a long, life-time fan of her movies, been specifically going through all her filmography recently, slowly, even produced movies or acting cameos because I so love her romantic comedies such as When Harry Met Sally (writer/producer), You’ve Got Mail (director/writer/producer), Sleepless in Seattle (director/producer), and the more I watch of hers, the more cool films I discover. I’ve bought in the last few years most (maybe all) of her books and I decided to start with this one since it was the first one I bought and an essay collection, and I haven’t read an essay collection before. Anyway, for the book itself, I do find reading essays very easy to read and Nora’s writing has always been very digestible, funny, relatable, charming and moving. While yes some essays are rather outdated, particularly ‘On Maintenance’, I still found the book rather enjoyable. I would still recommend this book to my friends and I still plan to read her other books. Just not sure if I do her other last essay collection book I Remember Nothing, do some of her earlier essay collections or do her novel Heartburn. I’m leaning towards I remember nothing. I will say ‘Consider the Alternative’ is very sad, especially towards the end when she’s talking about death and her own death and she says goodbye, considering now she’s passed away. There is something about Nora, I just love and respect her so much, her work became such a part of me. Rest in Peace Nora, you will always be missed. 

Re-read*

Don’t usually do re-reads but now and then I feel like doing them, especially for classics. Haven’t read this one since I think high school so thought I’d give it another read to see if I still like it. This was one of the first classics I both read and liked and I did still enjoy it on re-read which I’m happy about. I would recommend it. It’s psychological, philosophical, thought provoking, interesting, easily digestible, short/quick to read. It’s even better when reading during Winter at night to make it a lil’ bit more creepy.