thebigemmt505's reviews
36 reviews

This is Vegan Propaganda is a book by activist Ed Winters that lays out the many arguments in favor of veganism. It details the ethical, environmental, and global and personal health reasons, as well as the cognitive dissonance of carnism. 

Ed Winters created an amazing ressource for people without much knowledge about the premises of veganism. It is also a great read for those who are already vegan, and functions as a reminder and deepening of the arguments. The writing is approachable, without any difficult or niche vocabulary. There is a clear effort to make this book as accessible as possible, with frequent explanations of facts or concepts that the general public may not immediately understand. The book has a relatively thorough overview of each of it’s points. Admittedly, I didn’t fact check every reference (given the sheer number); however, as a vegan myself, I knew some of the studies and statistics already. The ones I know well check out scientifically, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t missing nuance or slight bias in some of the citations. In general, though, the book is incredibly well-researched and as dense as it can be given the number of points made in relation to the length. The arguments laid out in the book are incredibly convincing and solid. It does a fantastic job at mixing Ed’s personal anecdotes with scientific evidence with a more philosophical / psychological  approach with its investigation of morals, cognitive contradictions, and biases. 

The pacing of the book is alright, but varies a bit jarringly at some points (i.e. going from incredibly dense science to a heart felt anecdote within a few pages.) There is repetition that feels a bit redundant, though it might’ve been an intentional decision aimed more at non-vegans than vegans. While the writing is mostly enjoyable, Ed is a speaker at heart, so there are some awkward, bordering on run-un sentences that interrupt the flow of the writing. I noticed a typo mid book and there might’ve been more I didn’t notice. Personally, even as a logical person, I think the book might’ve benefited from more anecdotes from Ed. I felt a lot of connection with his experiences with his hamster, Rupert, and the struggles of discussing his veganism with his family. 

“This is the balancing act that vegans face: we either voice our objections and get labeled as extremist, militant, awkward or abnormal, or we stay silent and smile through the image of a cow having their throat cut that passes through our minds as we watch our loved ones bite into beef burgers.” 

Overall, even while already being a vegan, I got a lot out of This is Vegan Propaganda. Even I am still surprised at the extent of cruelty committed in animal agriculture. I am reinforced in my previous arguments and armed with new ones, confident of their validity. Sure, perhaps the book just confirms my bias, perhaps I just love any excuse to be a nerd about nutrition and ecology, and perhaps my personal like of Ed as a long-time follower made me more pre-disposed to enjoy this book. In any case, I am eternally and throughly disgusted by the torture non-human animals go through at our hands, the destruction of our planet to carry out said torture, and all of its mental, emotional, and physical health consequences.  The zeitgeist is horrifically flawed. A book like this gives me hope it is changeable. 

“We have the power every day to either stand in favor of needless animal suffering, the destruction of our natural world and the increased risk of infectious disease and pandemics, or to stand against it. Which do we choose?” 

“Clarity is an intoxicating drug, and you spend almost two years without it, believing you were losing your mind, believing you were the monster, and you want something black and white more than you’ve ever wanted anything in the world.”

In The Dream House is a memoir from the author Carmen Maria Machado that details her experience with an abusive, queer relationship. It uses narrative tropes to explore the complex perspectives and emotions from this time in her life, with each chapter introducing a new trope. 

In The Dream House is incredibly written. Not only does it show an impressive knowledge of literature and queer history, but the knowledge is used not in a pretentious way, but instead is used to deeply and profoundly explore the many complicated feelings around an abusive relationship. Many sentences are beautifully sad and achingly relatable, while others are darkly funny. The order of the story and the choice to often interrupt the narrative is unique and genuine, as if we follow Machado’s exact lines of thinking. The pacing is relatively well done, and the recounting flows smoothly. 

The trope structure does get a bit stale after awhile. The chapters are short, and because each chapter is short, the punches feel a bit less punchy in the later chapters. Granted, there’s only so much “punch” to be expected from an autobiographical story, so it’s not a massive criticism. There are also moments of repetition that feel a bit unnecessary. The ending is a bit messy, though it was probably intentional (and my bias shows given I’m a “clear beginning clear ending” person.) 

On a personal note, my own traumatic history fortunately lacks an abusive relationship, despite my many brushes with horrible people and traumatizing events. Even despite this, the book offered so much solace in its depiction of queer interpersonal conflict and abuse. It’s true that the queer community is more hesitant to expose its humanity to the world, dark and disgusting and horrific as it can be (like all of humanity ever), and having had my share of not-so-great gay community experiences myself it’s nice to see it explored in this book. In addition, so much of the talk on trauma is raw and real and too familiar. The pain of and shame and self-blame are all such familiar feelings. It’s heartbreaking to read and to know we’re not all alone. 

“I speak into the silence. I toss the stone of my story into a vast crevice and measure the emptiness by its small sound.” 

It’s an emptiness that I hope will be filled by more books like this one. 

“Maybe I'm just a lost, confused kid, scared of what's happening to me, to my family, to the world, and I hate school and I have no friends, and I spend my days sleeping with my iPod cranked up as loud as it'll go, trying not to go completely crazy, and with all that time alone I'm looking shit up on the Internet, looking up the same stuff over and over, and I memorize it all because I'm wicked smart, because I have to fill my head with something other than the ghosts.”

A Head Full of Ghosts is a novel that turns the typical possession story on it’s head. The audience follows Merry, the youngest daughter of the Barrett family, now an adult, as she recounts the bizarre happenings of her childhood in unreliable detail. 

The story is engaging and tense throughout. It doesn’t have the typical ultra-fast pace that most possession stories have, though it compensates through it’s extra layer of mystery. The reader is meant to believe something “more” is going on with the characters ; one isn’t ever able to fully dismiss the possibility Marjorie is possessed, but one can’t really believe it either. The characters are at the same time deep and shallow, constrained to archetypes yet clearly immensely flawed. The horror, though never truly “horrific,” is successfully unsettling and upsetting. The format of the story is also rather unique and engaging, with multiple perspectives all from one narrator. 

That being said, the book isn’t without flaws. There’s quite a bit of clunky writing, sentences that go on for much too long, separated by too many commas all in a way that may-be-intentional-for-the-character-but-is-still-offputting-sometimes, and it makes the reader either scurry over words or repeat sentences that flow in a too-strange way (see what I did there?). The writing isn’t bad ; it’s certainly engaging and meant to fit the off-beat character, but it is rather messy at points. There is also a huge amount of horror references in the book. References aren’t inherently an issue, and clearly the immensity of them is intentional, though it’s still distracting from the main narrative. The writing is redundant at points, with parts of the plot being repeated multiple times. The moments of redundancy and the long droning sentences make for many “please get to the point”s. 

Aside from it’s flaws, the book is great! It’s entertaining and fun for any horror fan. The themes are interesting and I’ll be thinking about what “really happened” and deconstructing Merry as a character in my head for awhile.  I recommend it! 

“I try to find myself in things but never quite make it and end up losing myself in them.”

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle is a mélange of philosophy, spirituality, and psychology. The book’s primary thesis is that presence is one’s guide to happiness. According Thinking is the enemy of presence, and thinking is the main cause ofIt also explores the idea of one’s higher purpose or inner purpose, that purpose being to notice the presence that notices itself that is you, as opposed to the egoic identifications one typically labels themselves with and calls you. Sound confusing? It is, although only to a certain extent. 

A New Earth is a mixed bag. Many of its ideas and proposals are quite helpful, however derived they are (notably from philosophy.) There are even well known concepts that are just renamed entirely (notably from psychology.) That being said, this doesn’t take from the value that’s offered. The assessment of the ego is well-done. The advice to disidentify with one’s thought patterns and emotions and stay in the present is described much more succinctly than I’ve seen it described by other self-help or even therapeutic resources. To emphasize what is presently happening without implying one should relinquish all duties is a breath of fresh air in a world where so much of the self-improvement zeitgeist is centered around drastic decisions, hustle, and hyper-individualism. The present is a gift so few appreciate, and that point us argued well and exhaustively in the book. Another positive point, the exploration of the existence of space within us all and how important that is to our presence and our purpose is a beautiful idea.

What’s also helpful is that Tolle gives exercises and examples to illustrate his points, and while some of these have issues, it avoided the typical pitfalls of many self-help spiritual philosophy books do: vague feel-good rambling without any practical steps to better one’s state. Unfortunately, though, the world salad is still present in this book. The positives don’t entirely negate the negatives in here, and so have to talk about the massive, massive downsides. 

More concretely, Tolle has a tendency to boil down religious beliefs to their “core principals,” although any religious scholar would probably implode if they read this. It’s unfortunately out of my scope to say how much he waters down and possibly misinterprets religion, but the generalization is certainly there. There are also a variety of statements that are just blatantly incorrect, unhelpful, or even disgusting. Here are a variety of exact ideas or exact quotes that my egoic thinking brain can’t help but criticize: 

Medical errors are the third-leading cause of death: Upon a quick bit of research, this statistic likely isn’t true. It seems to be data from two places, including studies specifically on older patients, where data was extrapolated to fit the entire United States inaccurately. 

“…and so, as every therapist knows, the ego does not want an end to its ‘problems’ because they are part of its identity.”: No, no, no. I’m going to repost part of the rant I did in my reading journal - What any good therapist also knows is this: victims or sufferers of any trauma or mental health issue, if they are searching for attention, in bad ways or good ways, they probably fucking need it. Humans are social, and while there are those that seek excessive attention, wanting attention isn’t bad; attention isn’t bad. There’s certainly ego involved in victimhood, as there is ego involved in seeking attention, but that doesn’t mean acknowledging and grieving what has occurred or what’s currently happening is egotistical. It’s necessary.

“Every ego is therefore schizophrenic, to use the word in its popular meaning of split personality.”: No comment. I laughed at this a lot. 

The body vibrates at a certain frequency: fucking, no it doesn’t. 

Perpetrators of violence and sufferers of violence suffer the same: It’s true that in the end, both do suffer, but to imply that the perpetrators of heinous, horrible, and deplorable acts suffer the same as victims of an atrocity is tone-deaf and absurd. The agonizing trauma might stay with a victim forever; at worst, the guilt and pain might haunt a perpetrator. 

“Abundance only comes to those who already have it.” Prosperity Gospel-esque, Law of Attraction, Give-and-Get nonsense. 

ADHD is caused by watching too much TV: This is objectively wrong, ADHD has a variety of complex genetic and environmental causes. 

“Children who have suffered greatly often grow into young adults who are mature beyond their years.”: Yes and no. The maturity children gain is accompanied by immaturity in another area that often causes the sufferer even more trouble in healing. It’s never worth it, never. 

Lastly, a critique of Tolle’s ideas. The premise of Tolle’s ideas rely on not thinking. Admittedly, this isn’t as bad as it sounds, but it’s not great. To unequivocally encourage a shift from thinking to presence isn’t useful. There isn’t enough encouragement for balance between presence and non-presence, because despite what Tolle implies, non-presence isn’t inherently bad. The growth of the ego, caused by non-presence, is neither bad nor good according to him, yet 3/4ths of the book is spent demonizing what the ego does. There’s a lot of victim blaming in the book based on the ego and the emotional “pain-body” one has. There are implications that those who suffer, due to their own unconsciousness, wish to suffer. And on unconsciousness: in reality, it’s okay, necessary even, to be unconscious and non-present sometimes. 

My radical idea, although it’s less feel-good, is that healing is actually extremely hard for some people, so despite effort, suffering sometimes continues. Presence is difficult for those who’ve suffered greatly, and while the present is a gift, it can be a curse too. It’s okay to lose oneself in one’s own head, to distance oneself from one’s own reality occasionally. It’s what keeps so many people alive in the face of unimaginable pain and limited resources. Balance is always going to be the key, even if it’s hard to find for some. Lack of presence has the ability to both protect and destroy. Honor that. 

TL:DR; A New Earth is a mixture of great advice on the ego, presence, and inner space and horrible anecdotes on trauma and pain. It’s filled with generalizations and falsehoods, although not ones so massive they ruin the read. The book is helpful. Whether it be your introduction to these better concepts or a refresher, there is much to gain from reading A New Earth. It’s just important that you take some of its content with a grain of salt. I do recommend people read this though, overall. 

Evil Eye contains four novellas that explore the more unsavory sides to love. Joyce Carol Oates has a prose that’s endearing, although difficult to grasp at first. The stories are all unique with thematic links that are dark and thought-provoking. Notably, in a feminist way, this book explores women’s strength and passivity in love and how damaging both can be. It’s a well-written thematic collection of stories, even if there are flaws.

Evil Eye: The first novella, while it sets up the themes of the collection well, is the least interesting story-wise. It’s ending and reveal come abruptly and awkwardly. There’s a strange, mutedly sexual dynamic between the two wives that didn’t have much build up. That being said, Mariana’s choice is left up to interpretation which is a nice touch.

So Near    Any Time    Always: So familiar is this story to those who have dealt with obsessive male behavior. The story gets points off for the beyond cliché

dog death (I take stars off every piece of media that includes dog death, not for its cruelty, for it’s overuse as a trope and easy shock value.)

. Overall, though, there’s an interesting exploration of obsession in this story.

The Execution: Frat dudes be like that, enough said. In all seriousness the entitlement of the son and the fierce, pained denial of a mother blinded by her instinctual love is striking in this tale. The nuances of court cases are also well explored here. That said, the story is somewhat clunky and there are points that are repeated various times unnecessarily.  

The Flatbed: My favorite of the short stories, The Flatbed expertly explores the emotional burden of a sexual abuse victim and the frustrating physical anguish that accompanies trauma. The love between Cecilia and N. is not deeply explored but the implications of its heroic yet twisted nature are alluring to the reader. The idea that her sexual reticence resolved

after the murder of her grandfather

 is a bit frustrating, though. Although perhaps the suddenness is intentional. 

Evil Eye is a great collection of stories for anyone who wishes to read about the dark side of love. I would recommend this novel! 

“You’re not one of those veganoids now, are you?”

Tender is the Flesh is an incredible novel that explores themes of animal rights, eco-feminism, and morality. It’s so human in the sense it depicts a man going through a massive spell of grief and so inhumane in the sense it depicts a society that degrades, devalues, and fetishizes human bodies. It’s both cold in it’s narrative style and artfully written with exquisite descriptions and superb symbols. It’s an incredible read that paces itself perfectly and satisfies one’s taste for the depraved while delivering a variety of intriguing messages. The ending was a bit abrupt and there was one character I found a little on-the-nose, but those are the only flaws that bothered me. There’s a line that perfectly describes how I view the society in this novel: “they’re rotting behind the madness.” 

As a vegan and a woman this book hits so fucking different fr. 4.5/5 

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked.” 

The Courage to Be Disliked is psychological-philosophical self-help book that imparts handfuls of decent advice cluttered in dialogue full of questionable stances and an arrogant tone. It’s a book that is both frustrating and enlightening, helpful and unhelpful. 

Self help is possibly the most subjective genre. Groundbreaking advice to one person is everyday fact to another. In that sense, some of my criticism is highly personal, but I’m going to take as objective a stance as possible. 

The Courage to Be Disliked is written completely in Socratic dialogue. The dialogue is at times decent, at times irritating. The writing often includes the Youth repeating a phrase the Philosopher said as a question, a format that quickly becomes stale. Other times, the Youth is overly emotional and combative to a hyperbolic, unrealistic extent, which is annoying to a reader that is supposed to identify with the Youth, aka someone who doesn’t know “the Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to change your life and achieve real happiness.” Said “Japanese Phenomenon” is actually borrowed from the works Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler. Here’s another theme in the writing: misleading titles and claims. The title of the book along with many chapter titles imply the placement of actionable steps to understand life and reach one’s happiness; most often the dialogue within these chapters is meandering and a point is never reached. It’s not uncommon for dialogue to not reach a natural conclusion, but it contrasts what is proposed by the premise. That being said, it’s not poorly written to an unreadable extent. It has it’s moments. 

The content of the book is a mixed bag. The third night (of five in the book) is both the best written and the one with the best ideas. The idea of the “separation of tasks” is probably the best proposed by the authors. It’s an easily approachable but massively under-utilized mindset that can assist many people who feel overwhelmed in relationships or untrue to themselves. There’s also a decent analysis of inferiority and superiority complexes. Personally, the difference between horizontal and vertical relationships was good insight as well, as over-simplified as it could be at times; one should strive for more equal relationships, ones without excessive one-sided praise or one-sided rebuke, one sided competition or one sided withdrawal. The total dismissal of the concepts themselves, though, (i.e. praises, rebuke, competition) is an extreme and unfounded standpoint. Then there’s the disgusting and outdated dismissal of trauma. This is the worst idea proposed. There’s truth in the idea that the meaning makes the trauma; the interpretation one gives to the event can influence one’s present outcome. What’s also true, though, is that both physically painful traumas (abuse, torture, medical problem, malnutrition, etc.) and mentally/emotionally painful traumas (abuse, neglect, divorce, bullying, etc.) are interpreted when the trauma happens and after the trauma happens. The trauma itself and the (usually, rightfully) negative interpretation changes the brain in the moment AND after, particularly in children and teens. Multiple mesurable, neurological shifts occur in trauma victims that aren’t easily reversed and NOT the choice of victims. And when the mind doesn’t remember, the body does. It’s all connected, as the book itself argues. For example, the book uses an example of a blushing girl who uses embarrassment of blushing to cover her fear of rejection from a boy. But what could also be the case is the girl was bullied for her blushing, already rejected for it, and as hard as she tried to ask a boy out, as clear as her intentions were, her body panics from any attempt to ask a boy out. It’s not the fault of the survivor, and no “pushing through it” and realizing one’s “internal goals” will fix the problem without deep trauma processing work (work that doesn’t include victim-blaming, by the way.) That’s probably one of the biggest issues with this book, and these sentiments exist in smaller doses elsewhere (i.e. attributing all atypical behavior as “attention seeking with the goal to get acknowledgement.”) 

Admittedly, there’s this: “Even if you are avoiding your life tasks and clinging to your life lies, it isn’t because you are steeped in evil.” The authors do not assign moralistic value to someone’s inferiority or superiority, to someone’s participation in so-called “life-lies” or life-truths. That’s another strong point; while the writing often comes off condescending, it is made clear that it’s not a case of good vs. evil. That being said, it is an issue of courage, which while frequently mentioned in the book, isn’t actually explored in much depth. 

Frankly, the strongest point in the novel is the point I quoted above. Happiness involves courage, and courage means facing adversity. To have courage, in the eyes of the authors, is to live in the moment. It’s a great message that could’ve been maximum 100 pages. 

TL;DR: It’s a book worth your time if you’re okay with shifting through some bullshit. There are good although relatively basic ideas and bad bordering on harmful ideas. Anyways, this review length is what happens when your plane is fucking delayed. Cheers! 

My enjoyment of Killing Stalking (I read the whole story in three days four years ago) is my biggest red flag. 

The most sane straight couple. 

Behind Closed Doors is a thriller that critiques the idea perfection - there’s always potential for a skeleton in the closet.

The uneasy tone is set immediately at a dinner party that feels just off enough to make the reader suspicious, but not so much so it feels like front-loading. There’s immediate intrigue for the story, as the characters are rather flat. The pacing is pretty consistent and the storytelling is well-organized in chapters that flip between past and present. Unfortunately, it’s as the reader learns about what is going on behind closed doors that the story meanders and dwindles, falling too far into absurdity that’s it’s difficult to suspend one’s disbelief.

I have to give examples of my issues with this novel in the form of spoilers, unfortunately. Before the story, I have to point out the sentence structure. While not every story has to be written poetically to be good, this story is full of clunky and long sentences

“While I was fiercely proud of her, that she had managed to master the steps she was performing, I was also fiercely protective, and when I heard someone laughing behind me I had to remind myself that their laughter was probably kind and that even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t affect Millie’s enjoyment of what she was doing.” “After all, he as good as admitted, when he said earlier that I was getting too clever for my own good, that he misses punishing me, so I can imagine how happy he must have been to see Esther’s message - and how he must have laughed at her attempt to help me.” goddamn those are paragraphs 

as well as bizarre adverbs

adding “-ly” to any adjective, no matter how awkward

. Also, and this is one word word usage I have to complain about:

the author says “to know the extent of his depravation” which, is a word, but is essentially never fucking used ever. why not just use depravity instead of a word that is barely correct and easily mistaken with “deprivation”?

As for the plot, it does meander in the middle. Grace’s decisions are often frustrating and bizarre. Jack’s calculation and intelligence are just as inconsistent, i.e.:

apparently he knows to check every restaurant for single bathrooms, but doesn’t think for a second Grace could be attempting to fool him when she talks about giving up + various other ludicrous decisions

. The reader is led to believe there’s more to than the story than is set up, but it truly lays all its cards on the table about 100 pages in. The rest of the tale is detailing Jacks cruelty, which, despite reviews, really isn’t all that shocking or graphic, nor is it unique or intriguing. Jack is a pretty flat character, one whose pure insanity has been done to death and much better in other works of fiction. That being said, it’s far from all bad. I found myself curious about the ending and rooting for Grace. The ending was satisfying, even if a bit unbelievable at points. The plot didn’t overstay its welcome which also helped. 

This is a debut novel, and the storytelling has a lot of potential. If you’re looking for a quick but simple thriller to read, picking this up isn’t the worst move.