fruitea's reviews
78 reviews

i rarely cry when reading books but. i’m sitting here at a quarter past midnight and i’m sobbing and i can’t even explain why. i’m emotional but i understand why things ended the way they did. it was depressing and so fucking sad i went on a rollercoaster of emotions but it’s like the rollercoaster broke down before it got to hope or happiness or even the smallest bit of relief. 

the depiction of war and conflict is brutally blunt, i said this in my review of the dragon emperor as well. some books tend to… romanticise war, turn it into some dramatic love story where the characters are invincible and benevolent and altruistic. but there’s none of that bullshit in this book, because war isn’t pretty or glorious, the people who suffer the most during wars are innocent civilians, who starve so the soldiers can have their rations, whose towns are pillaged, who are mercilessly killed by the enemy soldiers, even if they’re defenceless. the book constantly reminds you of this fact. you can’t forget it or ignore it like the big important political people who sit on their thrones waiting for the army to win the war for them. 

i think what i appreciate most about the trilogy is the brutally realistic portrayal of the people. not their abilities, but the way they live their lives, how they react to things. sure, we like to think that we’re good and kind, but realistically, if we were in a war zone, starving and desperate and afraid, we would be utterly selfish. we wouldn’t share resources with the other innocents, wouldn’t jump in front of a blade to protect a stranger. regardless of who wins, a lot of people would accept the victors because they’d do whatever they had to to survive. 

yes, it’s disheartening, more so because we see it from the perspective of someone who is on the frontlines and has seen first hand the cruelty of the enemy. these poor kids, i know they’re a couple of years older than me and aren’t really kids by the end, but… they’re so traumatised. they suffered throughout their entire lives. they’re so young. the things they’ve experienced have shattered their minds, but that’s the bitter truth of any war - no one emerges unscathed. 

anyway i went on a. tangent. my brain is scrambled with the emotions i am feeling and also the fact that it is now 24 minutes to 1 am so i will end it here. 

very gritty. the descriptions of battles etc. are very straight to the point, like there’s no sugar coating to make things seem less horrific. we see how the characters become desensitised to atrocities. they’re not invincible. they’re scared and angry and desperate and tormented. nothing about war is romanticised, which is a refreshing change from a lot of the other books about war i’ve read. it makes you think, “if i were in that situation, i’d never do something like that,” at first. then it makes you question your own principles, just as the characters do. it’s war. it’s horrifying and traumatising, people are unsympathetic and selfish, which is understandable because they’re terrified for their own lives, so to have to worry about thousands of others in the same situation would destroy their minds completely. i could go on about this book aaaaaaaaa the characters are so complex and interesting also i cried a lot reading this.

thought it was just going to be a fun book about pirates but actually it made me cry a lot

the worldbuilding is really unique but not overly complicated/confusing. like i was able to understand it pretty quickly and easily which made the story way more enjoyable because i wasn't constantly trying to remember details about the world

the sapphic south asian representation i needed and deserved <3