elwirax's reviews
479 reviews

CW: homophobia & internalised homophobia, heroin addiction, suicidal ideation, mental illness, self-harm. 

 

I'm really disappointed that I didn't love this book as much as I wanted to but it definitely wasn't the worst thing I've read and it wasn't all bad.

Throughout the book, Miaojin weaves a recurring image of crocodiles that act and look like humans. I loved this use of surrealism as a way to communicate the hardships faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals when finding one's place. While the story itself is an account of the protagonist's experience, the crocodile imagery can very much pertain to the whole LGBTQIA+ community. It highlights constant attempts to pass of as "normal" in a society that shuns differences. I really think the crocodile imagery is this book's highlight and my rating is likely due to its genius though, it alone deserves 5 stars in my eyes.

The style of writing in this book was also quite interesting and changed depending on the circumstances. Between being very personal to sardonic to poetic to satirical, it made the reading experience seem more personal like reading into someone's scattered thoughts in an actual diary (almost biographical in nature supported by minor details like age and going to Europe). Some passages seemed to have been written immediately after the events or during them, others seemed to be written later with the advantage of hindsight. Depending on what was used, they elicited different emotions.
 The entries in this book were also written in many different ways such as journal, epistolary, reportage and conversations. These formats paired with Miaojin's writing style made for an interesting atmosphere and reading experience.

However, while I was genuinely enjoying the book and was expecting to give it 5 stars, the 20% mark totally threw me off (Meng Sheng sent her a fingertip and basically stalked her and she's just gonna become pals with him? The dialogue between these two was also pretty bad). Strange scenes like this kept arising at times and I didn't really understand their purpose other to perhaps show that the characters suffer from mental illness. In terms of plot there wasn't much going on to really keep me invested and it was way too melodramatic for my taste (though quite self-aware). While the protagonist was complex and multifaceted, she didn't leave much room to be liked. She was bold about being a lesbian but then would hide and destroy any chances for a potential partner. As a matter of fact, most of the characters were rather self-sabotaging and nihilistic, which while it made for an interesting perspective, did not allow me to like any of them. Some of their actions like sleeping together to see if they could both get rid of their feelings for the same sex where a bit strange (justifiable to an extent but uncomfortable all the same). I do, however, understand that their self-hatred was used as a coping mechanism (albeit an unhealthy one) propagated by the constraints of a closed off, heteronormative society. The theme of individual versus society was an interesting one explored through the characterisation of these protagonists and Lazi's self reflections.

Overall, Notes of a Crocodile was impactful in some areas namely the crocodile imagery, the struggle of accepting and coming to terms with your sexuality and mental illness, but I did not love it as much as I wanted to. Personally, it lacked a clear direction despite the conversations that were brought up (while this can be due to the diary format, unfortunately, some of it was just a wee bit all over the place). 

Despite this, I'm glad I read it, it's a cult queer classic for a reason. I also think it will require a re-read in the future with a more in depth analysis.

 

This collection had many beautiful, and reflective lines while focusing on difficult subject matter like police brutality, racism, HIV, mortality and sexuality. dear white america , every day is a funeral & a miracle and not an elegy were by far my favourite pieces in this collection, the anger and frustration that flows out of them was hard-hitting and raw. Poems like dream where every black person is standing by the ocean focused on the importance of remembering the hardships endured by the Black community while others emphasised caring past a hashtag/ momentary social media interest and aiming for real change.  As in its opening poem (summer, somewhere) that imagines a world where all lost Black boys are resurrected, Smith offers moments of hope in between the more hard-hitting themes. 

However, I really don't think that the type of poetry in the first half was really for me i.e. disjointed (line breaks at strange times that hinder reading and make it seem like words have just been thrown together) and written in a way that makes it difficult to grasp the full meaning. I personally prefer a solid structure /fully formed sentences (like in the second half) when it comes to poetry. 

By no means was it a bad poetry collection though, it was personal and emotional in its subject matter, but I don't really know what to rate it so I'm going to leave it blank for now.

A fast paced, bittersweet and atmospheric novella set in an alternative 1930/40s magical Chicago. 

This novella very much gave me Supernatural vibes where a character would risk anything and everything for their loved ones, and well, I loved it. The yearning and love that Helen and Edith shared was beautiful and heartwarming and I couldn't help but root for them despite predicting how the novella would end. The noir setting, speakeasys, hidden lesbian clubs and subtle use of '40s slang really did it for me and created a substantial world given the book's short page count. I also appreciated the exploration of darker themes in this novella such as prejudice, homophobia and forced institutionalisation present in the time period which provided a stark contrast between the beauty of Helen and Edith's love and the lesbian speakeasys. 

That being said, I thinks the concept would have been better served in a longer novel, though it's a wee bit unfair of me to say this for almost every novella I read. The mystery was good but the reveals were rather heavy handed and lacked certain suspense, though this didn't really hinder my enjoyment of the story as a whole. The sibling reconciliation between Teddy and Helen was a bit rushed given the 10 years they had not seen each other. I would've like to see their bond more developed (this could also be said for Helen and Edith, to an extent but I still loved their romance). While the world was immersive enough, I also think the magic systems and ideas could've been explored more. Admittedly, the whole Angels vs Demons battle isn't really my thing but that's also not fair of me to complain that the book fault delivered what it promised 🤷🏼‍♀️. 

Overall, a good start to my 2023 reading year, I really don't have major complaints for this book. For what it was, it definitely managed to create an interesting atmosphere/ world and developed most aspects well. All plotpoints managed to be tied up and I 
 enjoyed it.

 

Well...this was a huge letdown. 

The pacing was too fast for such a short book which made it seem like I was jumping from scene to scene without much transition or time to process. Due to its short nature it was too convenient and predictable for me to really feel invested. Although, I appreciated Soraya's struggles with ostracization, isolation and her somewhat growth, I didn't feel connected to her in any way and she often came off as naive and self pitying. In fact, I didn't like most of the characters except Parvaneh (who barely got any attention), their dialogues and actions seemed catoonish to me. Another thing was the minimal worldbuilding. Maybe it was due to how short the book was or how much focus was given to inner monologue that really blurred out anything beyond it, but ultimately it was unfulfilling. There was a general idea of power structures, conflicts and lore but nothing too substantial.  Parvaneh and Soraya's romance could've been great but it just didn't develop in a believable manner (although, their tender moments were undeniably sweet). 

One thing I did love about the book was its influences from Persian mythology/ lore with the author's note on how certain elements inspired the novel. I also loved the queer Rappaccini's daughter vibes. Unfortunately, that was about it. 

Overall, a fantastic concept with an execution that deserved better. All I got from this book was resurfaced ACOTAR trauma (very similar concepts in both ). It's definitely not the worst thing I've ever read, just not my cup of tea.

What I enjoyed most about this book was the very vivid world building and its great exploration of psychology, criminology and the ever elusive question of what makes a serial killer. I loved the case report style of the writing, the snippets of hindsight and the historical context which really made the book feel like non fiction. There were also many interesting themes explored such as class division, immigration, lack of equality (racism, sexism) and the birth of new radical ideas in the time period which made the story so compelling. 

However, the characterisation really lacked for me. Sara was by far my favourite in the adaptation but the book didn't always shine light to her greatness. Kreizler and Moore were equally interesting in the show but were rather flat in the book. I think their characterisation and relationships were more developed in the adaptation, the lack of this in the book made it feel like a slog to get through at times with all the info dumping in terms of buildings and the landscape. 

Another major factor that I disliked in this book was the use of outdated language ( n word f slur and g slur). Just because it's historically accurate does not mean I want to read it. 

Overall, the period setting, themes and the mystery felt authentic and kept me interested. However, this was not a perfect book with often problematic language or ideas. The slow nature of the book can be attributed to the concentration on aspects that didnt serve much of a purpose and could've been re-directed into better character building. Therefore I couldn't give it anything above a 3.5. Nonetheless, it was an interesting read that I may return to in the future for the atmosphere alone.

It pains me to know that this is alll that is left of Sappho's writing. While the incompleteness of these poems made them charming, I could not always understand their meanings. I really enjoyed the "finished" pieces and think that I would've loved Sappho's poetry in its completed state. I appreciated the translator's notes on the poems which added to my understanding of context. 

Overall, I'm a little dissapointed in myself for not loving this as much as I'd hoped but for what it is, I can't fault it. It had some very beautiful and atmospheric lines that I will definitely be revisiting in the future.

This book has been on my tbr for a few years so I'm glad to have finally gotten around to it. While I liked the commentary and how easy it was to read, I think the story was too simplistic and felt a little pointless at times.

It regurgitated the same message, often in the same way. I would have preferred a much deeper exploration of conformist society than what was offered. Shiraha was the most irritating character and it was neither humourous nor odd as many reviews stated.

As a whole, Convenience Store Woman was well written and I related to Keiko on many accounts but the story itself didn't do much for me. 

Rep-  Black queer trans MC, Gay LI, non-binary SC, Black autistic SC, bi SC. 

This book dealt with many difficult issues namely transphobia, homophobia and religious bigotry but it also chose to focus on moments of queer/ trans joy and acceptance which was such a great message, LGBTQIA+ youth deserve happy stories. 

However, this was very clearly a debut, the juvenile writing style often conflicted with some of the more serious themes in this book. Though, I don't think that it was necessarily poorly written as I still enjoyed how easy it was to get into and through the book. 

I think that Spencer's crush on Justice was a bit insta-lovey but the romance itself was a slow burn which I was glad for. I though their love was sweet and I appreciated seeing consent especially in a book of the YA category. However, I do think that the victim blaming was an aspect where their relationship wasn't as well represented as it could've been. It was a shame to see Spencer breaking up with Justice over not standing up to his homophobic family. I feel like it could've been handled in a healthier and more sympathetic manner. 

The friendship/ family dynamics in this book were good and I was glad that Spencer's teammates not only had his back in football but also outside of it (Macintosh and Coach Schilling were great). I do wish that some of the secondary characters such as Theo where a bit more developed. I though that he was used as more of a tool to make Spencer seem like a better character rather than a person in his own right. Hence, his representation as an autistic individual may not be as authentic as it should have been. 

Overall, this was a good book, not particularly memorable in terms of plot but very much so in terms of transgender representation. I'm glad that trans individuals are receiving the representation they deserve.