siesssie's reviews
299 reviews

3.5 ⭐️

[quick note: I rate smutty books based on their niche, comparing them only within that category.]

Actually ended up liking this book much more than I initially thought I would.

”I will have agency until I die.”

I enjoyed reading this book much more than I had expected. I read half of the book in one sitting and then had to ration the rest so I could savor it.
The plot was genuinely captivating and dark. The foreshadowing didn't feel like a death sentence; it was very welcome. Many books hint at darkness, but this one truly delivered.

"You're the moon, and I'm the tides, and every thought, every need, every want, is drawn to you, Maren."

The complexity of the characters and their romance was very refreshing, I had a blast discovering every facet of Maren and Ramsay. I fell in love with them as they fell in love with each other.
Their individual stories tugged at several deep heartstrings. It was comforting to read about them surviving, overcoming, and finding peace with the choices they've had to make, all the while fighting for a better future.

"He told me that we could be king and queen of the high seas, and a secretive part deep inside me swelled with joy. It wanted exactly that - to have a man who sees me as an equal, not someone to belittle or batter around."

"I know that this is where I belong, drowning in this madness with her - two monsters that have found their souls in one another."

I would have also loved to know more about the world of the syrens, the dynamics of the people. Can they communicate with all syrens? How many kingdoms are there? What is the complexity of their creature needs and how does it translate to the agency of their minds, etc.? Similarly, I wish we had gotten more background on the Brethren and their kind.

"Of all the battles we fight, grief is the one that we cannot win.
There is no winning, and there is no losing. Grief makes a home within your bones so that you'll carry it for all time."

PS: Ramsay actually doing to Sterling what he said he would do was so fucking satisfying to read. How many times have we read such threats and have them actually played out?

3.75 ⭐️

”To survive, you can't bend to the world; you have to make it bend to you.”

Strong captivating characters, solid world-building, interesting plot, incredibly painstaking slow burn and darkly vicious.

[quick note: I rate smutty books based on their niche, comparing them only within that category.]

This book captivated me so fucking much. It was so unexpected. I understand it may not be for everyone, but apparently it is for me

“Like love, life is beautiful because it has to end.”

This book will take you on an emotional voyage you didn't know you needed, where you'll discover that love, death and dependency can manifest in various forms. By embracing their complexities, you'll uncover newfound perspectives.

And seriously, please, for the love of god, reach out to a therapist to help with family issues. Or any other issue, we’ve all got them.

Reading this was pure torture.
Tahir’s writing sliced through me with sharp precision. Her words have the power to immerse readers in the raw experiences of her characters and I never wish to feel such pain again. I am finally free from the emotional chokehold this book has had on me for the last 4 days.

Although I gave it 4 stars, this is simultaneously a 2 star for all the suffering it put me through.

These quotes are the remaining fragments of this book that’ll stay with me.

☾ “Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after.”

☾ “All the beauty of the stars mean nothing, when life here on earth is so ugly.”

☾ “As long as there is life, there is hope.”

☾ “Fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be.”

☾ “There are two kinds of guilt. The kind that's a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. Let your guilt be your fuel. Let it remind you of who you want to be. Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again. You have a soul. It’s damaged, but it's there.”

This was such a feel-good read. I laughed. I giggled. I blushed. I beamed. I got angry. I came back around to be delighted once again.

When there have been so many iterations of self-centered, irresponsible, superficial, blonde, and rich, fame-seeking characters, I was afraid Piper would come across as just another one of them. However, despite her initial behavior, she also had a strong heart from the beginning. I didn't feel distant from her; she charmed me just like she did the people of Westport.

I felt proud of her growth, learning to love herself and accept that her high-maintenance is part of her identity but not all of it. It’s also not bad or wrong. Her inner monologue showed someone who kept questioning herself and her life decisions, gaining a taste of independence and becoming more resourceful as the story progressed. Welcoming newfound skills and continuing to acquire new ones.

”They’d been kind to Piper this afternoon, but more important, she was learning to be kind to herself. Learning to love herself, just as she was.”

Brendan, the grumpiest, most loving book boyfriend (we girlies can now add to our never-ending list) is a big teddy bear with a filthy mouth (just how we like ‘em). Thinking he had to build something for Piper to demonstrate his feelings in order to ask her out for the first time. *swoon*
Poor guy, guilting himself till the end, thinking he was demanding too much of Piper and not worthy of her love.
He became her rock, her charging station, helping her learn to love herself, affirming it repeatedly, until she could believe it. And in return she brought him back to life.

”I don’t know who decided my perfect, kind, sweet, incredible girlfriend needed to fit some goddamn mold, but you don't. You just be Piper, okay? She's who I'm in love with. She's the only woman who was made for me. Cry if you want to cry. Dance if you want to dance. Hell, scream at me, if you need to. No one gets to tell you how to act or feel when I leave. No one.”

This book had the potential to be a five-star, and I'm mad it fell short. Firstly, we came to know next to nothing about Piper and Hannah's mom. Their stepdad was mentioned more times than her, which I guess, only shows how alone the girls ended up feeling while growing up and why they’re so close. I would have loved to see Piper and her mom talk about their past and forge a stronger relationship, maybe even reconcile with the grandma. Is it too much to ask for?
I felt incredibly sad we didn't even get a closing scene between the family before Piper and Brendan left LA. Throughout the story, Piper only wanted to show how she had changed and prove herself. Denying us of that was low Tessa Bailey.

The foreshadowing that Piper would end up going back to LA and instantly regret it was present throughout the book, nevertheless, I started to feel giddy that this cliché wouldn't come about as the chapters kept going. I hoped for some other obstacle to be the climax of the story, how disappointing when it unfolded as anticipated.
The final chapters felt rushed, and I wish they had been more developed.
What also felt incredibly rushed was the very short timeline in which the events of the book unfolded. Was it even two full months?

I almost gave this book a 3-star rating when Hannah, who had been headstrong and solid throughout the book, influenced Piper to attend the LA party. I understand she was afraid and panicked seeing her sister without her spark, but it felt so out of character, I was really disappointed in her. I'm very curious to learn more about her in the second book since she was quite reserved in this one. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride?

I can't not mention how heartwarming it was to read about Piper helping Abe, so this sweet old man could read again in his favorite spot. My heart felt so full reading those scenes.
I also loved the developing relationship with their grandma— how Piper's affectionate presence helped her leave her house, regain her sense of self, and start living again, not just surviving.

Finally, thank god the epilogue didn't end with Piper pregnant and/or having more babies! I am so tired of that narrative. Let Piper continue to discover herself, continue to gain independence, and grow in her relationship until both partners are ready for that next step.

”You can't live life worrying about what people will think. You'll wake up one day, look at a calendar, and count the days you could have spent being happy.”

FUCK TOXIC MASCULINITY & FUCK THE PATRIARCHY

Fox Thornton, my heart bleeds for all the pain you had to live through. Your past wrecked me. I was not expecting to feel such rage so vividly.

This book went beyond a simple rom-com. It delved much deeper into how men suffer from the objectification of their bodies and actions, especially in the context of sexuality because of the patriarchy and the oppression it instils on their creators. I couldn’t believe how a young boy was completely destroyed and deprived of his childhood and innocence. Simply because he committed the sin of being born handsome.
I was incredibly disgusted and revolted at how people perceived him his whole life. How adults behaved towards a young child. It hurt coming from strangers, but it was even worse coming from his family, his closest friends/work buddies. They relentlessly reduced him to his sexual activities, not once did they have a conversation that didn’t end up with Fox being the bottom of their sex joke. THE ENTIRE BOOK. NOT ONCE. Even you Brendan, who grew up with him, are you telling me your overanalyzing ass did not grasp what your best friend was going through. You couldn’t at least try and have a heart to heart with him.
Shame. Shame on all of you.

”Maybe the crew would realize they were wrong about him after some time passed. After all, they were just following his lead, treating him like he asked them to. Like the cheap version of himself he'd presented.”

No. No. And no, this does not justify their behavior. Getting laid and “having it easy with the ladies” should not be the only topic of conversation to have between friends. A person is not reduced to sex, period.
Everyone deserves happiness, to feel wanted, desired, to be enough, just as they are.

THERAPY PEOPLE. THERAPY.

I didn’t connect with Hannah as strongly as I did with Fox. Nonetheless, I’m so happy she was able to grow and realize that leading actors are for movies and that everyone is the main character of their own story, of their life. She deserved everything she achieved personally and professionally.
Her love and knowledge of music, how she was able to find the perfect song to accompany the mood of her surroundings was beautiful to read. She’s so talented.
I was also really happy she was able to finally connect with her grandma and her father. What a beautiful legacy she created.
She also made me laugh more than I was expecting; I absolutely loved how witty she was.

"Note to self," she said, pretending to write a note in the air, "find boulder. Ask for assistance. Manipulate the male psyche. By Jove, I think I've got it."

Their love story was as adorable as it was gut-wrenching.
Initially, I didn’t understand that they had been texting daily the whole time they were apart. Their texts melted and made me giggle so much, as simple as they were.
Fox calling her Freckles.

1st read: 4 ⭐️
2nd read: 5 ⭐️

"To the people who look at the stars and wish, Rhys."
"To the stars who listen—and the dreams that are answered."

I didn't think it was possible to love this book even more, but rereading it 6 years later and now in my late twenties hit even harder.

"I might crave peace, but never a cage of comfort."

My heart broke so incredibly much at all the pain Feyre endured. Reading her becoming a whisper of a being, left completely and utterly alone in her suffering, being drowned even further by the people she sacrificed herself for. The dismissals, the abandonment, the marriage, being locked up. Rage was me and I was rage. But then, she found warmth and companionship and love. Freedom. She fought for herself, slowly, gradually, actively working towards filling the hole in her soul. I've never felt so deeply towards an FMC healing journey before.
The relationship she has with her creativity is so adorable, she views the world through the lenses of an artist and the moment the names of the would-be-paintings came back, I was so happy for her.

"And I realized—I realized how badly I'd been treated before if my standards had become so low. If the freedom I'd been granted felt like a privilege and not an inherent right."

"I was not a pet, not a doll, not an animal.
I was a survivor, and I was strong.
I would not be weak or helpless again. I would not, could not be broken. Tamed."

"Here, I could be soft and lovely at sunset and awaken in the morning to slide into Illyrian fighting leathers."

Falling in love with Velaris, with the Inner Circle, with Rhysand, I will continue to do so for as long as I breathe. The sacrifices he's endured, continues to endure, to ensure the safety of his people, of his friends—his family, it brings tears to my heart every time. When he broke down being told he was enough, that he was loved, that Feyre was honored to be his mate, I broke down alongside him. He'll destroy himself to protect those he cherishes, just like Feyre, mates, equals — The High Lord and the High Lady of the Night Court.
Their love story is a burning candle, one I'll never want to go out.

"My friend through many dangers.
My lover who had healed my broken and weary soul.
My mate who had waited for me against all hope, despite all odds.”

”Not consort, not wife. Feyre is High Lady of the Night Court." My equal in every way; she would wear my crown, sit on a throne beside mine. Never sidelined, never designated to breeding and parties and child-rearing. My queen.”

Amren, Mor, Azriel, and Cassian. The Inner Circle. The found family. I want them all to find endless happiness.
They check-in on each other, they’re present for the good and the bad. Their trust, love, and companionship were a delight to discover. To experience.

”As one, they stood.
As one, they looked at me.
And as one, they bowed.
It was Amren who said, "We will serve and protect."
They each placed a hand over their heart.”

The fury, the absolute rage I feel towards Tamweak is unmatched. Only Ianthe could rival it. His actions, his train of thought, his past crimes... it's all very raw. I know he's not all bad, and maybe that's what's so hard to get over. In the end, none of it excuses his behavior.
I wish him a long, lonely, sad, and powerless life. May he live to learn, to understand, to acknowledge, to regret all he's done, and choke on it.

The disdain towards Lucien, I don't know if I'll ever get over it. Him being Elain's mate... 6 years later, and I still can't swallow it, she was so at ease with Azriel, as next to nothing as we got to see them together.

I can’t wait to finally get more of Nesta. Going down giving the middle finger… respect.
I’m sooooo ready for Nessian.

This was 306 pages too long.