seilahuh's reviews
32 reviews

it's a former favorite of mine that still reads as sentimentally as it did when i was 12. there are some hard spots that make it clear the book is *very* 2004 (a lot of outdated ableist terms), but the heart of the story remains in making those who are often overlooked, seen.

i need a minute for it to all settle in.

*just an opinion, a very LONG opinion


"all of that for nothing?"
—glo


honestly, i don't feel much about catherine house. the book was beautifully written. and as a story it felt incredibly self-aware.

the chapters are long, the lead ines doesn't really do anything, and the days go by so quickly. characters fade in and out, some details transpared [not a word], others unknown. i liked this element, though, as i really identify with it and it really speaks to my dissociation.

maybe sticking with such an apathetic lead may have harmed the story more than it helped it, but characters surrounding ines to me were not quite interesting either. those who hated Catherine House are lost in the banality of ines and those who love it are sort of entranced by her or the world of Catherine. i just can't find myself to feel either way about it. the more i think about it, the more i wanted because elisabeth's writing demonstrates that's entirely possible.

and i don't know what happened.

there seemed like there was supposed to be a commentary on *something*, at points maybe pretty privilege, another the cultish nature of higher education, but whatever it was it got lost in ines who just wasn't interesting enough or interested herself in any of that for these points to be solidified. which is why that story fell flat and hers too. in the beginning it was a nice premise to me, because ines reminds me of myself.

i'm a very [self-aware] apathetic person, which i wonder if that affects why Catherine House didn't grip me and was personally hard to slug through. maybe we simply don't mesh. but idk, to me that also seems a bit of a cause for indictment the more i consider it. because my biggest issue was *i* as a reader don't get what's gripping about Catherine House itself. i don't see why it's attractive to students and thus i don't see the intended appeal for readers.

there wasn't much freedom in Catherine House actually, and they had to work hard, stressfully hard always. the characters were boring. the sex even felt boring. and the plasm felt unremarkable, what did it really do? i don't feel that I needed to fully understand it, i just wanted to know how it really made Catherine House worth anything. to see some real effect, to know at least why people were willing to die for it. but i don't know that, i don't know why Catherine House means anything.

which again, i thought could be the commentary on prestigious universities, but it's so weak. ambiguous. i don't know if it is commentary on that, and personally, i prefer if people are making commentary on something like that, that they say it with their chest. again, again, *if* that's what was being done. but, i don't really know. there were messages on aging and death that i appreciated. bits about chasing eternal youth and life. but i just didn't see any monopoly that Catherine had on any of it, anything monumental. i was just dragging through, in a similar way i do my regular college assignments. i don't get what separates Catherine House from the world ines and them lived in, because to me it looked the same and operated the same. ines, especially acted the same in both worlds.


there's a lot more i can say about Catherine House, but my biggest opinion is i didn't hate it. don't get me wrong. but i didn't like it either. to me it feels so promising, and an apathetic lead is such an interesting concept. however the execution to me wasn't there. the ambiguous ending itself couldn't even make me angry or inquiring or anything because the entire story post year one felt ineffectual. 

i'll admit i had expectations of horrors beyond human comprehension or something really awful and yet it seemed very tame? calling it a thriller, dark, or creepy all feels incorrect. the story felt anticipatory, but there was nothing to fear for me, only a chugging question of 'what's next' and consistent thoughts of 'that's it?!'

afterward, i truly felt empty, and i'm not entirely sure that was the point. and again, this might be *just* me. but i wanted to feel more about Catherine House and i just don't. 

when i imagine the book itself as an experiment, it's a lot more fun. to think about, not read, to be clear. then the story becomes  effectively representative of the house, incredibly honest.

maybe this book and me are like positive magnet poles and maybe that's what didn't work. 

maybe more people willing to give it the FAIR chance other reviewers didn't, like i did, will like or love it. or maybe even feel empty like me. i wouldn't recommend against reading it yourself, 'cause i think people should. i think there's something there.

but i also really think clarity in the book, whether in one word or a sentence would do a lot for this story. it just needed more.

i forget you're supposed to tag spoilers. I'M GOING TO SPOIL THINGS


anyways, bree's journey continues to be fascinating.   and i enjoyed learning more about the world outside the order and hazel and mariah and volition. i had a crush on unc valec, ngl. i didn't know how bad i needed to see a suave, black demon until now. still hate alice tho, she's left a bad taste in my mouth since legendborn.

bloodmarked is a great continuation of the legendborn cycle which is best defined by a few themes and messages: black girl magic, literally, but in the South (YES); contending with grief; becoming your own person despite lineal predisposition and expectations; and the most important message that white institutions remain hostile and racist to black folks despite whatever progressive image they portray. i love radicalisation in my stories. 

tracy is so real 💯

admittedly, the romance is not incredibly enticing to me, mainly because i'm focused on what will happen to bree. (sowwy.)

unpopular opinion perhaps:
i wanna see bree become 'bad'. in fact, i wholly support her being a villain to them whites. for what they did to her and her people, yeahhh tor and everybody who hurt bree and them better watch their backs! i need to see her make real good on her promise to tacitus and them.

an extra thought: i'm probably one of the few who didn't hate arthur, like yeah i like a snake ass character who got a reason. here's to hoping him and vera aren't gone forever, forever. i just feel like they all had a bad argument and they should come back together to destroy the Order ❤

okay. first to get this out of the way, sarah j. maas is an incredibly problematic author. and tbh she's not a great writer. i did NAWT buy this book. don't buy this book it ain't worth it. i only re-read the series because i wanted to properly critique the content...

and then i forgot to do the review. but i still remember all i hated in ACOTAR.

"my own bowels turned watery with fear." everyone hates this phrase and i do too, it was never-ending and just a terrible, terrible description. 

ACOTAR itself is simply a Beauty and the Beast-type story, practically everyone's read it so i'm not gonna discuss the story. i see why it appealed to so many people though. it's pretty digestible romance, and it hits all the fairytale points. the girl is taken from her humdrum life and swept into a far richer life by a fae highlord, who's inhumanely attractive and is into her. and they fuck. it's what everyone wants!

it's pretty average and of the entire series is the better book of the series.

but.

it's always annoying when white 'fantasy' authors do this thing where they invert racial dynamics by creating a system in their books where white folks experience oppression akin to real life oppression i and other black people face. having humans be enslaved by fae was so ugh, like i outwardly sighed.

i also sighed when maas had the premise be that feyre is like this tough, badass girl. feyre didn't give that *to me*. and i would expound, but i forgot the details so i'm moving on.

the answer to the riddle amarantha gave her...that riddle was so damn stupid. not more stupid than feyre but it was coming close! (the girl thought her disabled father who wouldn't move to feed her, came to Prythian to save her.)

again this story is the strongest in the series, and i only think that's because it draws from so much material we're already familiar with, which is why i haven't called it a 'good' book. it's not; it's quite boring. you know what's gonna happen, you know where the stories going because we've seen it all before. 

that's about all i got to say about this one. i did not buy this book. y'all, do not buy this book. want better for yourself, you can do so much better 🙏🏽

"'The desire to love is not itself love. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will—namely, both an intention and action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.'"

this is just one of those books you come out on the other side a different person.  it's maddening to me that bell originally published this well over 20 years ago, yet all about love remains incredibly relevant. we still live in a very loveless society that denies that love is definable, that it's not as hard or confusing as we make it, and that this obsfucation of what it is only exists to further keep us away from its splendor. all about love is an essential guide to how we all can  make the love we want and deserve. my entire worldview has been changed.

i'll admit, though, some of the elements in AAL demonstrate that the book is definitely a product of its time, specifically the portion on Lewinsky which was very...cruel to me. i really wish it wasn't there as it truly detracted from what was otherwise a beautiful ode to the transformative power of love.