ms_tiahmarie's reviews
1089 reviews

'Light on Snow' skims a heavy weight topic, just as the title suggests. It makes it an easy read, despite the blanket of sadness that is through out the story.

Random note: The references to hot chocolate had me craving the stuff.

I suppose the problems with books like this is that they mostly 'preach to the converted.' However, I do chat with many women, both online and in person, who seem to be under the impression that 'all is okay now.' This book is useful at taking all the little bits of information that illustrate 'all is not okay now' and put them together to create a glaring portrait of why this is a problem.

Valenti shows how this 'virgin' culture goes beyond a religious choice. How it often excludes or 'others' women of colour. How it completely leaves out lesbian and gay students - ostracising them at a very vulnerable time in these young adult lives.

She uses facts to demonstrate that 'abstinence only' education are "just as likely to have sex as teenagers as those who had not...[but] teens who had taken abstinence classes were more likely to say that condoms were ineffective in protecting people against STIs."

Valenti also connects the dots to the money trail, where religion has become mixed up in politics, and not so much for reasons of morality, but for control and, back to money - money. How often the issue is not really about abortion, but about total control of women's bodies, including the pill and /or any form of birth control - which is pushing women to live a very narrow life per the terms of a very select vision of certain conservative religions.

I can't help but wonder what she would say about the situation of now, as most of the facts quoted are from 2008 and before. Four years later and things seem to be worse - the Republican Primary coming out swinging, the War on Women now seems much more real than her book depicts.

The book does seem to downplay the fact that sex is a very grown up act. Not because female virginity should be viewed as some present or rose, but because there are very real grown up consequences that can and do occur. Even so, the solution seems to be to make the risks clear (but not use scare tactics) with further information on how to best reduce these risks should a person feel they are ready to be sexually active. Also, as she champions, if more women had better access to good medical care, many of these risks would be lessened by virtue of women having the tools to protect themselves while engaging in sex.

Nor does the book provide a 'how-to' manual on raising future men and women, how to teach your children how to negotiate the path that is best for them. Not that a book should be expected to address or be the 'everything.' But if a parent is picking this book up in the hopes it will provide ideas for raising a young teen in this current political and social climate, they may be disappointed. However, I would argue that parents should still read it, if only to make them more aware of what is being taught in schools, why and the pressures kids are under.

The theme of this book makes an appropriate follow up to 'The Purity Myth.' The story echoes much of the same themes as Rayda Jacobs' "Joonie."
Both stories are important tales to be told. Eve is a more tragic figure than Joonie. However, her plunky spirit and tenacity are to be admired.

Eve reads like a memoir. The writing style is similiar to the one Jacobs uses with "Joonie." Thus, while the story line is tightly focused on a girl's confused sexual journey, the prose are loose. Dialogue between characters lack differentiating voice, which is sadly a bit too common in South African fiction. The book is also filled with Stephen Kings rule breaking "dialogue-attribution verbs": "Suzanne shouted out very loudly," "Nana exclaimed exaggeratedly," "asked Base impatiently," "I answered cheekily"... a trend even genre fiction, such as the US / UK romance reads, have mostly left to dwell in the 80s.

For some readers, the newbie writing quirks will be easily overlooked. The core of the story will be worth the read. Other readers will struggle to find patience with the prose.

The more I read the greater the pull the book had over me. I was told this is a YA novel. This seems to be very much the case at the start of the book. But the ending is very adult.

Cat swipes away utopia and brings a raw reality to fantasy that speaks greatly of human nature and the underbelly of revolution. There are no saints. The is no absolute Right even in the face of obvious injustice.

I was also impressed how Cat refused to allow the old fashioned setting determine the story's politics. There is a dichotomy of repression and progression ... From who people are allowed to love whom they actually love, to the gender of the repressor.

This book is a great addition to the likes of 1984, Handmaid's Tale with a touch of Judy Blume's Forever (without the explicate descriptions). A perfect book for a YA reader: does not preach, does not kiddie-fy but leaves the reader to fill in the blanks where more detail could upset some parents. That said, I hope this book is read by many adults. They will not be stooping to pick up a such a read, but searching themselves up a thought provoking treat.

Lastly, I actually bought this copy for my friend at the CTBF. I was going to read it and pass it on. But now I will have to buy my friend her own copy. I am not giving mine up.

WARMING - THIS NEXT BIT DOES ALLUDE TO THE ENDING:

I have read reviews that are dismayed at the lack of fairytale ending. I don't understand how whimsy has a place in such a story. I was pleased that friendship, partnership and quiet affection won over manipulative passion.

So very sad.

25% - I have been avoiding this book despite buying it ages ago. Suicide is an all too real event in my family tree. As are affairs, alcoholism, depression, paranoia and a host of other complications. All of which are pouring themselves into my current ms, in their own way. So perhaps the fact that I could write my own fictional tale that is so downright sorrowful made me feel brave enough to give it ago.

25percent in and I am still fine. The writing is the best I have ever read for a self-published work.

I cannot, however, fathom having the author's...I'm not sure the words. Never say never, and nobody really knows how they will act unless in their shoes. But telling my own husband about this book he was in no doubt that I would not be as - charitable? - as this woman is. She married a man whom she clearly loved dearly. So it feels awful to say how much I want to reach out there, through the pages, and smack him across the face.

Depression is a disease and not one to be trifled with. No two people handle the same challenges or diseases the same. I know. But even in depression there are choices, as limited as they may be. I am not discussing the end of the man's life, but in his actions to torment his very own wife. To keep speaking of his love to the woman who loves him, and the two are not the same.

I keep wondering where his parents, her parents are in this book. Perhaps in the further 78 percent. What is spooky is how much the two of our stories, her's sadly personal fact, mine fiction, overlap. Even in vast differences, some feelings are universal.

But he bugs me. I want to scream at him for the pain he seemingly selfishly inflicts. At what point is it the depression and the other the self indulgent attitude of which he displayed from the moments of their first courtship? I suppose there is no clear line.

I was relieved she saw somebody for her own head. The need to love oneself. I wanted to cheer at this. Because that is exactly the problem in the dynamic, and one I see so often between the depressed and the carer of - that the love for the self, the love to say 'I have feelings too' seems to get shoved aside for the singular goal of keeping the other together. Yet...you can't do it for them. That is the hardest lesson to learn when being around the depressed. Ultimately it is the choice to get help or not.

I hope by the end of the book (or at the end of her journey to reach this point where she can publish such a book) she has found a love for herself.

- Reached the end, and not much I said from above changed. It is beautifully written, sad and does raise a number of issues. The man had problems and there are reasons for his problems. But he was abusive to his wife. He had choices: to take or not take the drugs that could have helped him, to have found a therapist rather than use his wife as one and so on. He may not have been able to help his disease, but there were choices within that framework that he chose, and the fault of those choices lies with him. But nothing is as simple as that.

I liked it a lot, but did not love it. Some of this is my fault for coming into it with expectations of greater suspense / conflict than is actually presented. I also am very annoyed about the kindle formatting errors - almost one per page. These are not easily read over errors, such as a slight mispelling or a questionable comma, but jarring splits in words, odd insertion of symbols, random capitals inside a word, mashed words etc. This is why I almost never buy quality fiction on kindle and stick to paper. The major publishing houses have a lot to learn from the romance houses, which produce clean e copy on a far more consistent basis.

That said, I adore Boyle. He makes me really think, question political stances. I adore how he writes some true nasties, yet tosses in complex characters in there too. This book had no heroes, but lots of characters I could sympathise for, disappointed in one and loved to despise another. His landscapes make me homesick. A writer always worth a read.

Disturbing. Beautiful. Lingers long after the last page is turned.

Entertaining comic lit aimed at the motherhood-inclined warriors who've walked the 3am hallways while their breasts leaked. It is every bit as well written as any of the British books I've read in the same vein. It was a pleasure to see a light-hearted genre story that is very much set in South Africa and accurately reflects the posh SA life without being 'South Africa attempts to do genre lit.' There are notable exceptions to this, and I tend to shout about them. But sadly, I've also come across too many that are written at a 1980 standard Mills and Boons quality control (who, I confess I've read last year and can safely say they've improved dramatically). Not that this is romance lit. No. Comedy entertainment.

It is an ebook. I have had problems with ebook editing, especially with literature. This book proves my theory that genre books in the ebiz are heads and tails above the Bookers on Kindle. No %£$@ randomly inserted into words, odd spacing and the layout is professionally done. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine in e-reading, so hats of to eKhaya. (Yes, an epublisher should know what they are doing, but given this is South African and South African publishers have been given a bad rap, I want to stress that this has been done well.)

I enjoyed the book. Read it on a lazy Sunday when I wanted exactly that sort of read. Would recommend it to any other person (probably a woman) who wants to read something along the lines of

That said ...

Spoiler

Much of the book has been written before. The troubled marriage is a common theme in the comic lit of motherhood that it would be nice to see something new. Not that this is a reflection of the book itself. Standing on its own, the book reads very well.

Except I didn't like Nick. Ever. I didn't see any part of him that made him loveable. I could understand the need to want to make things work because of children and so many other factors. But Nick was loathsome. He was like a child but dressed in a suit. It isn't that men never display lack of understanding / laziness / obliviousness - it was that he had all the traits in such large quantity he became a cartoon of every. cursed. husband.

He even baulks at picking up his son (still leaving his wife to deal with the other son) when she has a meeting that may mean losing her job. They need the money. I understand in the normal day to day her job + nanny gives her the flexibility to do these tasks his job does not. But given the circumstances and the fact she was trying to save HER job that THEY needed you'd have thought he'd step it up or take sick leave or anything else that any other working person with children has had to do once in awhile. (This is where I lost my sh!t, so to speak.)

The main character has faults. I know. Everybody does. But given what a giant arse Nick is it made my blood boil near the end (sign of good book, I became emotionally invested) to see an attempt to make the issue balanced:

'Some of what he said made sense. It's not only that I spend too much time with the kids. It's also that I'm always thinking about them.'

Um, this is a jerk who can't iron his own shirt when she is busy nursing and making breakfast and the packed lunch and the...who can't give his wife a decent hand when her job is on the line then has a 'I can't remember' affair with his co-worker.

I don't believe in using sex as a weapon. But whining that one's wife does not give you attention when you make everything in the household HER problem while expecting her to work full time - I have no sympathy. If she'd had slightly less to do, or shunned true romantic efforts made on his part - yeah, I could have seen where he was coming from.

He missed his son's birthday while he was partying the night away in a foreign country.

No.

In fact, if Jo had been able to be financially independent I don't think she would have stayed with him.

But perhaps that was part of the author's point?

A book for people who like to examine the micro of human nature, quietly and ponderously. Which I often do.