hannahjsimpson's reviews
692 reviews

 On the first day of 2021, Anna Marie Tendler checks herself into inpatient treatment for depression, self-harm, suicidal impulses, and anxiety. Though she's struggled with these for most of her life, the pandemic, as well as additional factors of her personal life have conspired with the chemicals in her brain to a dangerous mental crisis. Chapters about her stay at the hospital are interspersed with her experiences with men growing up. From her family life to the men she's had relationships with, she connects these experiences to how she views the world and her attempts to find tools to create a healthy mental state. 
 
 I devoured this book. In awe of the vulnerability and strength to share this experience with an audience, I snuck pages in where I could and binged large sections each evening. Many of the beliefs Ms. Tendler expresses, particularly in regard to men, made me uncomfortable. I felt so because, while her feelings are deeper, stronger, and more absolute, I recognized that at times I had felt many of those things. In detailing past relationships, Ms. Tendler reclaims them for herself. Her marriage, however, is noted only in the periphery of her inner life. As this particular relationship is the reason many recognize the author's name, I wonder why she doesn't mention more about this major relationship. To me, it looms large over the narrative in its absence. I will attribute this omission as an assertion that Ms. Tendler is framing her life outside her former husband. That, though we may know her because of this relationship, her life will no longer be defined in culture in relation to men. 
 
 A feminist declaration of selfhood and existence, I appreciated what it must have taken to read this book. Ms. Tendler clearly and heartbreakingly expresses the deep and terrible feelings in this short period of time and how they have transformed her life. I will pass it along to women I know and love. 

I need to reread because I listened while at work. Missed bits of it, I think.