WOW did this make me feel seen. 

Conditions of a Heart follows Brynn, who hides her chronic illnesses (EDS, POTS, MCAS) from the world. Her life looks sweet & ordinary from the outside - she’s popular, she has friends, she gets decent grades - but in truth she’s gritting her teeth and keeping everyone at a distance.

After a punch from a privileged douchebag leads to Brynn’s suspension from all senior life, she goes on a bit of a doom spiral and has to figure out what she really wants for herself. And her dream life may or may not include her ex-boyfriend, Oliver…

The disabled teenage perspective was absolutely perfect: vulnerable, honest, and funny. (If you’re chronically ill, you’ve got to have a great sense of humor. You’ve just GOT to.) The medical gaslighting and snide doctors were groan-inducing and deeply relatable, and Brynn’s paperwork reminded me of the FAQ binder I had started to put together as a teen to just stop engaging at whatever new specialist I was forced to see next.

The father-daughter relationship here was spectacular and also made me realize I haven’t read a lot of books with disabled main characters that also have disabled parents. Their banter and quips were the best, and he was also so kind and looked out for Brynn in ways that her mom couldn’t always comprehend or relate to. 

All of the family dynamics were interesting, but I wish there was more time spent healing Brynn’s relationship with her other two (able-bodied) family members. They often serve as (mild) antagonists who misunderstand Brynn’s needs, but both have shining moments towards the end and are genuinely trying. I just wish we had gotten to see more explicit conversations and gotten a little more insight into their lives and struggles. 

The romance was a little silly to me because Oliver talks like that most theatre kid to EVER theatre kid - it made me giggle, but I’m genuinely not sure if a young reader would have fun with it as well or just cringe. Also since they’re on the outs at the start of the book and we don’t get much insight into their previous relationship, the arc isn’t as satisfying as Brynn’s overall personal growth journey (and her journey with her family and letting her existing best friends into her life). 

There’s a bit of brief yet impactful discussion about how the world moved on swiftly post-pandemic (in the world of this book, COVID-19 was completely eradicated), but didn’t stop to consider who was included and who was promised safety. And how thoughtless side comments can have lasting, hurtful impacts. 

Overall, a beautiful read. 

CW: ableism, medical content, chronic illness, pandemic, classism, homophobia, bullying, grief, racism (brief mention - Brynn is Korean American and is reflecting on racist COVID-19 remarks)

Follow me on social media for book recommendations!

(I received a free copy of this book; this is my honest review.)