I listened to this on 2x speed during a long car ride. Which is the way I would choose to receive this book again. It made it so much easier for me to understand the thoughts and feelings than it would if i was trying to read it because of Sally Rooneys lack of quotation marks.
I was super interested in the different dynamics between the four main characters. The way all their relationships work in relation to each other is very fascinating. There were times when I was frustrated with each character. Many times Bobbi as she often did things to others and then got angry and dismissive when Frances did similar things to her. She wanted to know everything about Frances and constantly undermined her sharing her secrets with others and then when it was done to her she would ignore her and lash out.
The affair between Nick and Frances made me feel numb at times. Listening to Frances’ inner monologue and how her thoughts changed as their relationship went on. She pretended that she was fine with the way things were going but her thoughts progressively more negative and self loathing. She also stopped writing completely for a while and when she started again she hated everything she was writing and wasn’t inspired to do anything anymore. There were times she mentioned wanting to self harm and then she proceeded to do it many times by pinching her skin, and making herself bleed. Her physical conditions also started to get worse as the affair went on.
There were many times I caught myself thinking it would turn into a thriller or something and i don’t know why. The way that Nick and Melissa spoke about one another I just assumed that Melissa wanted Nick to cheat so she had a reason to leave and she was purposely doing the piece to make Nick leave her. After hearing the email Melissa sent after finding out about the affair I felt very conflicted. The way she talks to negatively about Nick throughout the whole book just to talk about how she’s not leaving him and he’ll never leave her was very conflicting.
I also recognize that this book is very heavily rooted in an untrustworthy narrator because there are times when Frances remembers Nick in a positive light while Bobbi remembers the same occasion very differently and in a negative way. There are times when I sway and think Bobbi’s way of remembering things are more truthful because of small instances where Nick is very rude to Frances while they are speaking over the phone and while they are alone and they start arguing about the affair. there’s also two different ways that Nick seems to act around Frances like when they are in public, in front of Melissa and Bobbi and can’t argue he’s painted as a very nice and sensitive person but when they’re alone together in his room he’s withdrawn and hurtful to Frances.
Many people point out the unfair power dynamic between Nick and Frances because she’s 21 and he’s in his mid thirties and I agree that the power dynamic is very weird. Even without the age there’s still a power dynamic as he’s married to the woman writing an article about Frances and Bobbi. He comes a whole different world than her and she was about to look him up on the internet before their initial meeting already giving her different expectations and perceptions of him.
The relationship between Bobbi and Frances at the end feels like the safe option for the pair. Bobbi is narcissistic and wants to control Bobbi while Frances is still reeling from her relationship with Nick.
The very ending was very good. The final phone call between Nick and Frances left things open ended and that felt right for this book.
Updated 1/7/24:
I am still reeling from the book and I just keep remembering how much I hate Bobbi with a passion. The way she acts and how she treats Frances' makes me so angry. The way that Bobbi just wants to control everyone around her and constantly does things to hurt her out of spite. Like revealing her relationship to Phillip because she knows the things that he will say and how it will hurt her. When Frances was getting into the bath because she was in pain and admitted that her and Nick were fighting and Bobbi went behind her back and called Nick and told him everything that was going on. I think that part of Bobbi did these things to make it so that Frances was only belonging to her. There were also times that Bobbi was super hypocritical regarding Frances' affair when she knew in depth that Melissa also had affairs including a brief one with her. I also think that there were times when Bobbi and Frances' friendship shouldn't have continued. They were constantly doing things to hurt one another and then pushing the other one away and harming theirselves to walk on eggshells around one another. The way they hurt each other constantly and then fix it without really fixing it makes their friendship seem off-putting. Frances' also doesn't trust Bobbi with basic information about her life, like how she had to get a job, and how badly she was struggling financially. The way that their romantic relationship ended and then turned into a platonic relationship without resolving the issues that caused them to end the first type of relationship made it so that their friendship was filled with unresolved resentment and poor character choices to spite one another.
I also didn't really mention the storyline of endometriosis. I really enjoyed the way this storyline played out. Frances' revelations that Melissa didn't want kids and that's what sparked a downfall in the relationship between Melissa and Nick. Frances finding out that it will make it difficult for her to have kids and realizing that her and Nick aren't right for each other anymore because of her inability to have kids.