4.25⭐️/ 3-4🌶️

For as long as Kenzi could remember, Toren was always there for her. From different points in her life, Tor had always been the one she could always rely on. When Kenzi was little, she use to say that she would marry Toren when she was older. Little did we realize that the best friend she often spoken of was actually her father’s best friend!!!!! Told in the past and present, this story illustrated the younger days of Kenzi as she grew up, but also how she and Toren’s relationship changed into something unexpected. With tropes like, age gap romance, taboo romance, father’s best friend/ best friend’s daughter, this romance wasn’t the typical one you would think of, but still packed a punch in the emotional and sentimental moments between Kenzi and Tor.

Before we even get into this book, let’s just address the main thing that I’m sure some people might be questioning about this book. Yes, it is an age gap romance, and yes Kenzi did indeed call Toren “Uncle Tor” for many years, but they were never ever blood related. Also, this was kind of a taboo romance so, if that isn’t something you like, then this book won’t be for you. On the off chance, you’re looking to read a taboo romance/ age gap romance then this one might be the one to read. 

 The way Carian wrote Kenzi and Toren’s story in this book really illustrated the timeline of them from a young age to them in the present, and how their relationship evolved from one as treating each other like family to becoming a couple. I liked how at the beginning of each chapter there was a flashback to different points in Kenzi and Toren’s lives together. In addition to the flashbacks, some were sweet and sentimental in how even from a young age, Kenzi was always close with Tor and Tor was always caring for Kenzi and giving her all his affection. Compared to the present (at least in the beginning when Kenzi is a bit older), we get to see the subtle changes in the dynamic between Kenzi and Tor. For as long as Kenzi and Tor knew each other, once the small changes started to shift in their friendship to one hinting at deeper feelings that weren’t so friendly, it became more of a passionate relationship but one that was also forbidden considering Kenzi was Tor’s best friend’s daughter. 

The tile of this book really did fit the story perfectly because I was torn between the angst and forbidden romance that was Kenzi and Toren’s love! Man oh man this was quite the predicament for both Kenzi and Tor. Knowing each other for so many years, and basically knowing Kenzi since the moment she was born caused quite the stir between Tor and Kenzi as they started to realize they had intimate feelings for each other. Kenzi had always known she wanted to be by Toren’s side, but fully coming to the conclusion she wanted more with him was a turning point especially as she became older. For Toren, he was…TORN between the duty he always had of taking care of Kenzi, making sure she was safe, loved, and protected, but also wanting her in ways that he felt guilty about. The thing that I did like throughout the story was actually seeing Toren coming to terms over his feelings for Kenzi, it wasn’t an easy, “yes! Let’s be together!”, more so there was other things at play besides the obvious large age gap, but also how others such as, Kenzi’s dad a.k.a. Toren’s best friend’s would react to it all. The angst in this book also illustrated the obstacles that prevented Toren and Kenzi from being together and the conflicted emotions surrounding them. This romance was taboo, and forbidden, but even through that, both Kenzi and Toren couldn’t deny the strong emotional connection they felt for each other. 

Even with all the angst surrounding Kenzi and Toren, there was still some sweet and loving moments sprinkled in as well as some spice too. Once Toren and Kenzi became one hundred percent sure they wanted to pursue a relationship together, it wasn’t necessarily a big change for them only the oncoming obstacles that they had to face when others found out, etc. For most of the book, Toren was usually seen as “cold” and “quiet”, but when he was with Kenzi, he was sweet, open, and dare I say even a bit softer? Regardless, Toren was a romantic at heart and it definitely showed when he went from being considered a family friend to lover with Kenzi. I think Kenzi even became a bit more serious with Toren by showing him all the ways she wanted to bring a smile to his face, and genuinely just make him happy which definitely showed in how Toren reacted to the things Kenzi did for him. I got to see a different side of Toren, one that was lighthearted and wasn’t so “broody” as Kenzi would say haha. 

Carian Cole had me intrigued with her unconventional/ taboo romance filled with angst, passion, and a sweet connection between Kenzi and Toren. Kenzi and Toren had literally always been in each other’s lives so, it was no surprise that they ended up developing feelings for each other. The thing that I liked how Carian Cole wrote this story was emphasizing how Toren was initially conflicted over his feelings for Kenzi, and how he had initially tried to prevent things from progressing into a romantic relationship. Try as hard as he might, Toren couldn’t deny, he loved Kenzi in every way possible, and Kenzi felt the same about him. Through the sweet and romantic moments Kenzi and Toren shared, I was then waiting for the inevitable moment when Asher, Kenzi’s mom would find out the truth of his best friend being with his daughter. The road to a happily ever after wasn’t easy, but through some self reflection and time apart, Kenzi and Toren reached a point where they could finally be together. Carian Cole did a great job of showing all the sides of the romance between Kenzi and Toren from the obstacles they faced from their age gap, and the taboo aspect of their relationship too. In the end, Kenzi and Toren had a happy ending, and the epilogue was another tender moment that showed them happily married, with a baby of their own, and even mentioning other details that revealed even more stuff about Kenzi’s parents which was nice. Anyways, I enjoyed this book, I think Carian Cole did a great job of depicting an angst filled, taboo romance. While this book may not be everyone’s cup of tea, I still enjoyed it and may some might want to give this book a chance.