I might have mispurchased this book or approached it with the wrong expectations in mind (then again, expectation management is everything, is it?). I want to give this book four stars anyway because to a person other than myself, it could be a gold mine.

This book is for people who are currently finding themselves, or have recently found themselves and made an exit from, an abusive relation(ship) with a narcissist and need tips and tricks on how to make it through, which this book provides in staggering abundance without ever going into the nonsensical. This book is also for people who need someone to cheer them on, help them find the motivation to get back on their feet after a shattering experience, and provide them with ardent advocacy in the face of their abuser, in the face of societal misconceptions and in the face of their own spirit who is likely battered and bruised and prone to slip-ups. You can feel the author poured her heart into this book and it is a valuable resource.

Unfortunately I expected a more "popular science" approach to the pathology of narcissism without pep-talks or self-help resources taking the main stage. All in all I think the book focuses much more on addressing the victims and making sure they'll be ok, and much less on actual narcissism as a pathology (even though you find a lot of info on that, too) than I expected. It's just the ratio that wasn't cutting it for me personally because I am not immediately in need of help.

This book is for you if:
+ You have been or are a victim of narcissistic abuse and need immediate help, a reality-check, or simly something to get you thinking in a different direction
+ You care to enlargen your repertoire of sources to connect to other abuse survivors
+ You haven't yet read or heard a lot about the condition, the resulting relationship dynamics, and the precautions to take in general. This is a good book for newbies to the topic.

This book is not for you if:
- you are easily annoyed by repetitions
- you want to take an in-depth look at the science behind narcissism/psychopathy and expect a popular science approach to the topic
- you already have immersed yourself a lot in the topic and want to gain more in-depth knowledge
- (for audio book listeners): if you enjoy a more lively narrating style; in the beginning, this one sounded a bit like google translate reading out words in its automated voice. Admittedly, it gets better as you get used to the style and proceed further into the book.

Final feedback on what could improve the book:
- I was wondering about late-aftermath effects on future relationships of victims. Can it for example happen that they successfully take their dark episode with a narcissist as a learning experience, but bounce "too hard in the other direction", becoming too defensive or too harsh in a next relationship? I would have appreciated a more long-term look on the mental workings of survivors
- I listened to the audio book and THEY READ OUT HYPERLINKS! Stop this madness. Provide a separate glossary with numbered references with the audiobook if you must. But nobody wants to hear "http forward slash forward slash colon double u double u double u dot XXX forward slash XXX dash X forward slash", repeatedly. It almost feels violating.

I would be very thankful for more "popular science style" recommendations on the topic, and in the meantime whole-heartedly encourage anyone to read this who needs a supportive voice when coping with trauma.