Thank you to @vintageanchorbooks for my gifted copy of this incredible memoir by Jesse Leon. 

⚠️ not for the faint of heart, Leon bleeds his heart out telling his story. He minces no words. The sexual abuse at the hands of predators he endured, the domestic violence that surrounded him, the discrimination since early childhood, all of it is on the page for readers to judge. 

I’m at a loss on where to start with reviewing this so I’ll attempt at a chronological overview of what to expect.

A young Chicano child living in the “bad” part of San Diego questions his sexuality at an early age. He is ridiculed by his machista Mexican father and he attempts to meet his fathers expectations by acting and dressing like a “cholo” to command respect. 

📝 the Mexican machista man is such a typical villain for children to experience and be damaged by

A day like any other leads him into the den of a predator, he is raped at 11 years old and manipulated by fear he is forced to continue returning, after a while his tormentor begins pimping him out to other pedophiles. 

Understandably, Leon finds an escape in drugs and alcohol. His life is spiraling out of control, his sex work is his way of life and he survives by putting on a “IDGAF” attitude. 

Praise the Lord, a fellow Chicano counselor encourages him to think about his future, he sees right through his façade and doesn’t buy that he doesn’t care. Leon starts at community college, gets clean, transfers to UC Berkeley and graduates, then attends Harvard for his Masters degree. 

Like the counselor who helped him turn his life around he is now a social impact consultant and specializes on providing ways to address issues of substance abuse, affordable housing, and any LGBTQIA+ issues. 

It’s a tough read but truly astonishing. The tenacity this child then man had to summon to climb out of the hole that he was born into then the one he was manipulated into is unbelievable. 

If you know anyone who has felt low, anyone who has felt they don’t belong or have messed up one too many times then this book is for them. I urge you to read it and open your eyes to the life experiences that go on undetected for years. 

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