"given that my face was Chinese it was a shame to know nothing about myself"

This short story focuses on Joan and how she navigates her identity, culture and hopes as a woman with bi-cultural Chinese and American access. 

Joan is a ICU attending and shares a office with two colleagues Reece and Madeline, through their small talks and stilted interactions; Joan's character arc is slowly opened up as she responds according to how she feels she is expected to respond. Joan narrates objects and her surrounds in significant detail, but the people in her life receive little mention and interactions tend to be transactional in nature. 

"Changing of the guards...with immigrant families this happens much earlier...as the child becomes the parent"

Many of Joan's reflections and observations resonate with me: being the family translator, communication specialist (the irony of me becoming a Speech and Language Therapist is not lost on me either!), map to navigate the system, the feeling of disenchantment of the successful eldest brother and managing the snide remarks of those who feel minorities are successful based on positive discrimination rather than merit. 

At times I found the self narration stilted and awkward, however I feel this added to Joan's character and began to find this charming about 20 pages in. Joan has a rich internal monologue which is perceived as obstinate by others, and baffles many. I enjoyed her wry observations, and many attempts to appear socialable to much comical effect. Occasionally, Joan appears to have an out of body experience as she scrutinises social interactions with her colleagues and makes attempts to offer comfort, and validate their feelings. 

This is a brilliant short story examining the Chinese diaspora, navigating the cultural expectations of straddling both cultures and the legacy of migration and settlement. Although this is not Wang's first book, this has led me to their backlist and also sharing this brilliant and beautiful voice with my ESEA book club. 

Some of my favourite quotes

"Some people are require more encouragement, water and sun. Some people are like plants"

"Berating is love. At thirty six years of age, I was still being loved"

"From having loved around so much and with no childhood or ancestors home to return to. I didn't think myself capable...it wasn't a concept for me until the day I put this coat on... I knew my occupation would be my home...Home is where you belong and take up space".

"History repeats itself... Even citizenship can't save you".

"The price of success is steep and I have never been able to separate this from the feeling of sacrifice"

"Only Asians outside of Asia chose names for themselves that took into account the convenience of others or smoothed out their foreign names to be less offensive to others"