Eddy de Wind started writing this book as soon as the Russians had liberated Auschwitz 27 January 1945 and he had it published in 1946. So it is one of a few survivor books that has not been marred by memory. 

I have only given it 4 stars because while it clearly documents the horrors of Auschwitz, it lacks essential things. I have a series of complaints about the book which future readers ought to be aware of. The book is supposed to be his story right? So why does he call himself Hans van Dam? That makes it fictional in my opinion. Because how do I know what is true then and not? 

On the cover of the Swedish edition it states that it is a ”Doctor’s Testimony”. But he never worked as a doctor in Auschwitz during the Nazis’ run of the camp. Hans van Dam was a ”care taker”. He was called out to shovel gravel, he carried soup to other barracks, he cleaned, but he did not act as a doctor. So which was it? Is ”Hans van Dam” Eddy or not? Details maybe, but in this age with holocaust deniers, it is important to get all the facts straight, so they can not be explained away. 

Now, one of the most important facts that are clearly missing and that bothers me more than anything with the book, is Friedel. We are told that Eddy dumped his Christian fiancé when he got to Westerbork concentration/transit camp in the Netherlands, because he fell in love with the 9 year younger Friedel, who with her 18 years, worked in the hospital as a nurse. Frieda Komornik, a German Jewish refugee, married Eddy in 1943 before they were both transported to Auschwitz. 

We don’t get a good idea at all what Friedel was like or anything. She is neglected by Eddy. But… according to the book, Hans or Eddy made sure to fight, to live, for her sake. He made sure she got extra food and she made sure he got extra food. Right?! And he made sure that despite her being in Mengele’s experiment block for about 18 months, no doctor went near her. That she was spared all experiments that the others went through, only working as a nurse. 

Eddy’s writing ends with Friedel and the other women having left on a death march, the Russians having arrived and Hans/Eddy assuming that Friedel is dead. But since he went back to the Netherlands, arriving on the  24 July 1945 and met Friedel in the hospital that same day, why did he not change the end of his book? And why does he state throughout the book that Friedel was spared all experiments on her body when the afterword says something different?

This is my true gripe with this book: First of all, are all names fictional in the book? If not, which ones are and which ones are not and what is the purpose with name changes like Eddy becoming Hans? When the book does not give answers, a lot of us will google for the persons and how can one find fictional persons? 

Secondly, the book lacks a forward that explains what is fictional and not. But it does have an afterword written by Eddy’s family, before the 2020 translated publication. In that afterword we are told that Eddy and Friedel were traumatized by Auschwitz. Well, all Jews surviving the holocaust were traumatized. But they went on to marry and have children. Children to replace the murdered 6 million Jews. Couples who had been separated by camps and experiences, got back together and were grateful that they had both made it. But in the afterword by Eddy’s family, it is stated that not only was Friedel sterilized in Auschwitz, in other words Eddy lies in his book when he says that she was not experimented on, but she was also ill for years after the war. According to the family, Eddy and Friedel divorced in 1957 because of their camp experiences. 

Now, IF Friedel was the reason that Eddy made sure to survive, why on earth would he dump her in 1957? And why does the family just cut her out of the story like that? Just a short statement that she was sterile, sick and they got divorced. Like she was not important at all. I find that offensive. 

I searched all over the net for Frieda Komornik. The family should have told what happened to her, since they must know! Instead, we are left hanging which is very upsetting. According to genealogy sites, Frieda Komornik died on Christmas Eve in 1959. Several genealogy sites states this. But then on a site called hebban.nl , where people feel as bewildered as me and ask what happened to her, this woman pipes up and states ”After the divorce, Friedel married historian Dick Couvee, they had a happy marriage until his death in 2000. Friedel died in January 2003. She was a loving, warm and special mother and grandmother to her (step) sons and three granddaughters - I am one of the granddaughters.”

Now, what sort of book is it, that does not clarify things? Why did the family not bother finding out anything about Frieda and what happened to her after the divorce? What is true and what is not? Did Frieda die 1959 and from what? Auschwitz effects? Or did she suddenly become happy after Eddy divorced her? He married a Christian instead that gave him three children, so did he dump Frieda because she was sterile? Did Frieda really marry and live happily ever after with stepchildren? I still have not been able to verify the truth in that hebban.nl statement! 

4 stars because the de Wind family did not feel that the reader needs closure, when they easily could have given us such!