How do I talk about this book without sounding like a badly adjusted weirdo?

1. Upon finish trk I thought: I hate that Aurora is dead. What was the point of waking her if we were going to kill her one book later? I feel differently now. Better about it - NO. I have more questions then answers, but not questions I am quite ready to formulate, except for one: how does Declan feel about Aurora? Is it necessary for him

Spoiler

to have a different mother

? I am guessing YES, but I do not feel optimistic about the way all of this is going to play out.
2. As I said not thirty minutes ago, Ronan and Adam's relationship is a Mystery To Me, but in a good way. Am I on fire if I think about Ronan naming Adam management in his phone? About Adam making a sixteen hour trip just to make sure Ronan doesn't self destruct for three hours? About Ronan wanting more than anything than to move up to Massachusetts to be closer to Adam, which I think is a categorically bad idea when you're nineteen, even if you don't have anything else going on. About Adam not texting Ronan back before the end of the book. About Matthew very bluntly saying: why don't you just tell him you love him? About Ronan sitting in a group of Adam's friends and thinking: I never knew anybody who was gay and out in high school, being very uncomfortable and TERRIFIED that Adam was going to replace him - his stupid loser boyfriend, who didn't have a job or a high school diploma (this, technically, is not true, as Gansey did acquire a high school diploma for Ronan...in like...October of their senior year, since Gansey knew Ronan wasn't going to finish.) I feel okay about all of this, actually. It didn't awaken anything in me, to be perfectly clear. I don't lay awake now and replay the moment Ronan was just sitting outside the divinity school after he dreamt those murder snails.
2b. is to circle back to adam being named management...he knows he needs management. adam is managment. adam manages ronan. why won't ronan call him by his first name? did gansey used to be named managment? i want to hear gansey's VOICE maggie!
3. Yo, this nightwash stuff and the actual plot of the book, and not all the stuff that makes me feel like I'm crazy. It might be cool. It might be a really forced addition to a world that had an only mediocre conclusion in trk. It is far too early to tell, but I love all the new characters very much, and I am so grateful that Ms. Stiefvater came to my home personally and told me I was right about Declan this whole time, and he does have a complex inner life! And also Ronan has him named DBAG Lynch on his phone he never answers ONLY to give Declan an ulcer (he succeeded), and calls Washington DC Declan City which is the funniest little brother shit ever, and I have only sympathy and love for Declan Lynch. Anxiety nightmare scenario tbh.
4. I miss Gansey. I have said it before, I will continue to say it. I could have almost forgotten how much I love and miss him if not for every...twenty chapters or so Gansey inserted himself back into the story: Declan told me to text you, and I WILL get on a plane to see you if you need me to; I asked around about Boudicca, Blue said that you aren't as cool as her, and also I do not text like any person under the age of 45, this isn't because of Cabeswater, it's just because of who I am as a person (in a hundred different texts; this is because Gansey and I are in fact the same person, but he's more focused and a lot richer than I am); Yes, I know you're on the phone with Blue right now, but I am going to get on a plane Ronan! I'm untying myself from this tree and I am getting on a plane because it sounds like you probably need my help and I am Dad, Dad Friend! Gansey! Dad friend; Ronan admitting one or two times how much he needed Gansey during that year after his father died. Was brutally beaten to death, and he found the body. I need him to come home. Pretty sure Ronan needs him to come home; Ronan's worst feelings are all about being abandoned and very importantly includes Gansey getting in the dream-pig and riding away.

All of it is very upsetting and maybe one day, I'll write a real review. Instead. A numbered list of feelings and observations.