Have you ever read a book that has completely changed your life? A book that will stay with you forever no matter what? A book that has imprinted itself onto your soul? A book that feels like a hug on the coldest of days?

This book is that.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I. Am. In. Love.

I have never truly understood what it means to be in love, but this book is the perfect example. I don't understand why people want to fall in love with humans, when books like this exist. (That being said, there are other books I've read that have caused this same feeling, but I just finished Graceling last night, so I'm being a bit dramatic but also rightfully so.)

So...

10/5 stars. I regret not reading this sooner. It has been on my tbr since I was little, but I just kept putting it off for no reason. I already want to read the next two companions to Graceling, but I think I'm going to save up, buy all 3 books, reread Graceling, highlight all the beautiful, heart wrenching quotes, and then read the rest. These books deserve to be on my shelf, along with some of my all-time favourites.

Now for the review:

ATTENTION: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS BOOK, DON'T YOU DARE READ THIS REVIEW BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN FOR RUINING EVERYTHING. OKAY. I AM WATCHING ALL OF YOU. AND I SWEAR IF ANY OF MY FRIENDS READ THIS REVIEW WITHOUT READING THE BOOK FIRST, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL BE TERMINATED.

ahem, okay, moving on...

WRITING

I don't know how to describe the writing exactly. But you know when you're reading and you stop to admire the way a sentence is structured, or how a setting is described, or how a character looks at another character, or how the author words the thoughts that run through a character's mind...and you think "wow, I can't believe there are people out there who can write like this"...that was me. I fell in love with the writing style. It was perfectly descriptive and beautifully immersive. I felt like a little ghost wandering around with Katsa and Po. It felt so real. Every moment, every bit of dialogue, all the tension, heartbreak, emotions felt like they were actually happening right in front of me. If I was human, I would have cried. I would have bawled my eyes out. I did internally cry and squeal though. And all of you normal humans out there would have cried.

The pacing itself is slow, but it is done so well. You actually feel like you've gone on a journey with the main character. It doesn't seem to happen all at once, there's breaks and times when there's a lot of travelling and internal reflection, and time when the characters just get to know each other better. There isn't action after action. There's time to breathe before you get stabbed in the chest. And that's important. Stabbing and breathing. Both very important in fantasy books.

Honestly, my whole experience reading this book felt like a wonderful dream. And I'm really sad it is over.

I want to touch on the world-building a bit...I really enjoyed what we saw of the world. The politics and geography and the people and the customs were so diverse and interesting. Especially anything about the Lienids and the different Graces. But my favourite part was the geography? The settings? I don't know how else to describe it. But I loved how the geography varied depending on where the characters were. And I loved seeing the characters "living off the land": hunting, fishing, building their little shelters, etc. It's just something I really enjoy reading about and shows to me that the author did her research.

FIRST HALF

I wanted to discuss the first half of the book separately from the second. Cause the first half had me squealing and all-caps texting my friends who have read this book.

Let's talk about my boys. My children. My precious sons.

Raffin and Bann. I love them. They are everything. Raffin is just perfect. I love how much he cares for Katsa, I love how he is taller than Katsa, I love how he hugs her and kisses her but in a totally platonic way. I'm crying inside right now. He is also hilarious. He is my blue-haired scientist. He deserves happiness and love and success (especially in the area of healing potions). Bann is wonderful. He doesn't talk much, but I picture him as a quiet more sarcastic character, who mumbles things under his breath and causes Raffin to snort out loud when he should really be silent. UGH I LOVE MY BOYS OKAY.

Oll gave me Coram vibes because of Song of the Lioness. I love how he was a father-figure for Katsa. And Helda acted as a mother-figure who didn't quite understand Katsa, but tried her best anyway to make sure she didn't feel alone.

Giddon, well...I do not like him at all. At first, I was like OOH YES ALL THESE CUTE BOYS. But then he turned out to be not so cute. That being said, I am glad with out he reacted at the end. Yes, he's upset, in a self-righteous, entitled way, but at least he still supports the Council and hasn't betrayed them just because Katsa refused him. So in that way, he is partly redeemed for his actions.

Then we have Po. My precious Po. You know when a certain character shows up in a book, and you immediately find yourself smiling like the Grinch...



Because you know when you've found your new favourite character and you've already decided to sacrifice your life for them without knowing anything about them? Yeah? Cause that was me. I see a tall, dark, handsome man, with one silver eye, one gold, a casual, lazy disposition, who likes to roll-up his shirt-sleeves, and lean against tables. LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO. Sit back and go "hmm okay"...CAUSE THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I fell in love. Head over heels. It was epic.

Po has a presence, a charisma, a teasing behaviour that draws you in. The tension between him and Katsa was intense. I loved every single second of it. Loved seeing them fight and getting to know each other. I loved when Katsa realized Po's actual Grace and the mess of emotions she felt and went through as a result. I'm glad we saw her not trusting Po at all, then slowly learning to deal with his Grace, and finally becoming more comfortable with it, but still showing she needed time alone to be with her own thoughts. It was the perfect balance. And it was a wonderful complicated mess. I don't love absolutely perfect relationships. I love a bit of tension and confusion and anger. Seeing two characters work through their problems, talk about their feelings even though it's difficult, and finally coming together in the end...it is a lot more satisfying.

Another thing I loved about the first half of the book is Katsa's character development. She goes through a lot of different stages. First with Randa, then with Po, then with Bitterblue and everything that happens with Leck. She doesn't have just one huge moment of realization and change. It's gradual and there are ups and downs. But what I absolutely loved about her was her resolve and determination to stay true to herself no matter what. I loved how she didn't care to get married, how she didn't want to tie herself down to another human being, how she didn't want to hold someone back, and how she didn't want children. I love seeing that because it is so rare. I feel like in the majority of books, the main female characters gets it all at the end–a wedding, a husband, and a litter of children. But not all women want that, so it was nice to see that a relationship could be built without the whole marriage and children. That two people can be happy together in their own way, despite how confusing it might be to everyone else.

The first half of this book was a rollercoaster of emotions. I was squealing mostly cause I love my all my boys and Katsa together. I loved seeing Katsa stand up for herself again King Randa. I loved seeing her set off on her own journey. And I loved the tension we start to see between her and Po. Also that farewell scene with Raffin had be clutching my heart. WE NEED MORE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN GUYS AND GIRLS IN FICTION OKAY.

SECOND HALF

Well, I had trouble breathing. I had to stop multiple times. I avoided reading cause I was scared. I WAS TERRIFIED. Then I was like "how could it get worse than this" and then the book was like "OH SWEET SUMMER CHILD I SHALL SHOW YOU HOW" and I was like AHHHH NO WHY EVERYTHING SUCKS I HURT TOO MUCH PAIN I AM WORRIED FOR MY CHILDREN.

The journey to Monsea was wonderful. Like I said, I love stories that have traveling because you get to see the different geography, how the characters cope with different weather conditions, how they feed themselves, how they find shelter etc. I know it might sound boring, but I live for this. And it wasn't boring at all. I loved the introspectiveness of this part of the book. There was a lot of thinking, of coming to realizations, of making important decisions, of sorting through emotions, of deciding what you really want. It wasn't just a physical journey for the characters, but also an emotional/internal one. And it fit so well.

Getting to Monsea though and the panic that Po starts to feel, I started to get anxious. Then we have the whole scene where they see Leck for the first time and they come to understand his Grace. And then they're on the run, trying to find Bitterblue, trying to come up with a plan. And everything is a mess and I am so scared and worried and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

When Po fell off his horse and into the lake, I knew he was blind. I just knew the second Katsa rescued him and did her best to nurse him back to health, that there was something wrong and that Po was blind. And then when she left him I almost cried. There's that scene where she is riding away and calling out Po's name in her head over and over again, and all I could picture was Po collapsing against the wall of the cabin and crying. And then when we finally find out what actually happened to Po after they left, it's so much worse. To be all alone and not be able to see. To feel completely hopeless in the dark. And then finally find the will to live because the one person you hate is still out there tormenting other people. My poor, poor Po.

The journey back to Lienid though was intense. It really showed how Katsa's Grace is more about survival and not just killing. She did everything and anything to protect Bitterblue and I loved how their relationship grew and developed. The journey was terrifying though. I was scared the entire time, but finally getting to Po's castle was the biggest shock of my life.

I was not expecting Leck to be there. I actually swore repeatedly in my head for a few seconds. That whole scene was maddening to read. Seeing Bitterblue fighting against Leck's Grace and trying to tell Katsa to not give in and Katsa's confusion. The moment though that Lack was about to give away Po's secret and Katsa threw her knife and killed him, I don't think I was breathing during this entire scene.

And then the rush to find Po again. I didn't think he was going to die, but I was stressed out just the same. I fell in love with Skye in the span of a couple pages. He is the best and another of my precious sons. I love his friendship with Katsa and his relationship with Po.

When we finally see Po again and Katsa runs toward him...I wanted to cry. And then everything that happens afterwards was a mess. I was expecting happiness and rainbows, but nope. And then slowly Katsa realizes what is wrong with Po and we see him go from having barely a will to live to finally getting better physically and mentally. And while this happens in a span of a couple of chapters, it didn't feel rushed at all. It wasn't like everything was being tied together quickly at the end. A lot of time passes in those last few chapters, and the author did such a good job of writing that it felt like I had been reading for a lot longer than I was.

Remember when Katsa told Po that he should fight her blindfolded one day...YEAH THAT HURT

When Po is laughing at the ceiling and Katsa is like "what the f is wrong with you" and then she opens the door and RAFFIN MY BLUE SON IS THERE WITH BANN. I SCREAMED. And then we have them messing around at the coronation. And Bitterblue is queen and everything is finally alright.

The ending was absolute perfection. An epilogue that was sweet and wholesome, giving the reader a beautiful picture of what the future will hold for Katsa and Po and Bitterblue. I have no complaints. This book did everything right in the end and it is honestly going to be one of my all-time favourites for the rest of my life.

Can't give this enough stars. I will not be over this book for a long, long time.