i read most of this stone-faced, face unchanged even as i was recalling repressed traumas with needle-like stabs, even as my heart ached for carmen maria machado, even as the pained gorgeousness of the writing took my breath away.

https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2022/01/10/the-very-best-books-of-the-worst-year-yet/

and then i got to the part where things are allowed to be happy again. and i burst into tears.

this is a beautifully written, brilliant researched, painful and raw and horrific and wonderful nightmarish fairytale of a book. it's 5 stars and i will never read it again but i will think about it all the time.

bottom line: sometimes, you read a masterpiece. sometimes, a book hits you at exactly the right time. finding both in one tome is once in a lifetime.

-----------------
tbr review

do you ever put off reading a book because you know it'll hit you too hard?

file "one of the best writers i can think of writing about the thing that is closest possible to home" under that.