Llama Llama loves to read
So do we, but this book needs
A plot, a story, something more
Overall, this book’s a bore.

My kids are fans of Llama Llama
We all enjoy him (even Mama!)
We’re at the library to look
When lo! A brand new Llama book.

The rhyme scheme falters and it lags
The Llama book soon starts to drag
Page after page of boring teaching
The book is nearly always preaching.

A hodgepodge of sight words and phonics
Learn all of these, the rhymes admonish
Sight words, “hard” words, what a bore
To read has now become a chore.

This book might help, the smallest bit
To make one simply literate.
It never quite begins to capture
A love of books - the joy! The rapture!

To raise a child to love to read
There’s something else that child will need
A love for characters and story
Beyond what is obligatory.

A book that captures being small,
Bedtime, fits at shopping malls
A day at school without his mama
A bully that mocks Llama Llama.

A lonely day with Mama far
A treasured toy left in the car
Llama is relatable
This book, however, hateable.

But G and O spells “go,” you tell us
Listing letters, overzealous
STOP! And CAT! And BARBECUE!
But random spelling just won’t do.

Spelling words does not engage
A reader’s focus on the page
An opportunity now missed
Opting instead for spelling lists.

To raise a reader, one thing’s certain
As shown to us by Levar Burton
The rules of grammar can’t compare
To books that make a reader care.

This “story” (if you call it that)
Works just the same with Pete the Cat
Or Franklin, Caillou, Bo Obama
There’s nothing here unique to Llama.

But Llama Llama saw a prize
Llama could just merchandise!
A show (just as devoid of heart)
A book to sell on book fair carts.

A book that just instructs in reading
A title -- just a bit misleading
Just enough to make the sale
Llama Llama cannot fail.

Emotional and social learning
Matters more, but isn’t earning
All the money that it could
Who cares if this book’s any good?