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A review by futurama
In My Dreams I Hold a Knife by Ashley Winstead
adventurous
mysterious
2.5
This is such a Prep meets Dark Academia vibe with millennials. I didn't think I would have to deal with Leigh again, but Jessica Miller embodies Leigh as a college student and adult. I felt a lot of similar feelings reading this as I read Prep, mostly surrounding the main character.
This book is a classic thriller with twists and turns and I mostly didn't like it for reasons below. But Winstead knows how to keep a reader engaged. I'll probably read the next book she writes, hopefully I'll gel with it more.
Here are my biggest gripes:
Heather...who was she? We only see Jessica's view of Heather which is laced with jealousy. No one else talks about Heather except to say she was great or misses her. Why didn't Caro latch onto Heather? Jess was jealous because Heather was rich and seemed to get everything she wanted. But Heather worked hard, didn't she? She was smart and moral and Jess hated her because she knew she was inferior. The shallow stabs at Heather's appearance were laughably lame. After finishing the book, I know that Jess hated Heather because Heather was everything she wanted to be except without "trying": popular, smart, hardworking and overall, A Good Person. But that's just Jess's POV. When Heather stands on her own, she is weak with no clear motivations. Why was she so intent on exposing Frankie to his coach? Even with the little we know about Heather, it seemed out of left field.
Also, who was Jack?? He grew up in a religious household but that's all we get. It's like no one had an opinion of either Heather or Jack. Even the "Jack the killer" arguments felt lazy, like no one cared. The relationship with Frankie was flat, there was no passion.
Speaking of Frankie, he was the most unusable character. None of the friends had an opinion on him, or even like him very much. The story would be the same if he wasn't in it.
Coop overall...I don't understand any of his motivations. His character was flat and stereotypical (alternative guy who sells drug to help his mom...you can take that out of anything) and I couldn't understand why he loved Jess so much with all of her terrible qualities. He knew he was going behind his friend's back, why did he keep doing it? He seemed a stronger character without Jess dragging him down. From what we knew, I thought it was very out of character for him to be obsessed with Jess, who is mediocre at best. What was the point of him marrying Caro? If it's just to piss Jess off, it felt forced. Towards the end, I was hoping he would expose Jess for who she really was. I was rooting for you Coop!!
The characterizations for Mint and Caro were good and their development worked ten years later. I think it's because we see many sides of Mint (especially from his fraternity brothers and backstory) and Caro is the naive, good-natured soul stuck in this story (would have appreciated more backstory but w/e) The perspective chapters from Mint and Caro towards the end were wonderful -- their POV was exactly how I imagined it to be. I would have liked this book much more if it was told from everyone's perspective.
The best (and most infuriating, in a good way, part of the book) was the character of Jess. Wow! A multi-dimensional character filled with wants and desires and a sociopathic will to get what she wants, she is narcissistic and selfish and a terrible person, the most terrible of them all (including Mint). Winstead did an incredible job of painting of a college student parading around in victim clothes. Even though I would have preferred a multi-POV story, I can see why Winstead stuck with Jess. The way Jess dated Mint for status but fucked around with Coop and was too embarrassed to go public because he wasn't popular, dragged Caro around but treated her like an idiot, strung around Jack ten years later pretending to play "good guy", hated Heather for no reason and is incredibly petty to Courtney TEN YEARS LATER. Jess is THE unlikeable female narrator so many thriller authors are seeking. I was getting tired of Jess's B Story with her father but the longer it dragged on, the more I realized the author did it on purpose. There's no point in pitying Jess. She did all this to herself. How I wish the story ended with everyone realizing Jess is The Worst but ofc that would have been a too predictable ending. I love how Winstead ended it slowly, everyone drifting apart. Good for Frankie, he's the only guy who came out relatively unscathed. Probably because he wasn't involved much in the story anyways.
This book is a classic thriller with twists and turns and I mostly didn't like it for reasons below. But Winstead knows how to keep a reader engaged. I'll probably read the next book she writes, hopefully I'll gel with it more.
Here are my biggest gripes:
Also, who was Jack?? He grew up in a religious household but that's all we get. It's like no one had an opinion of either Heather or Jack. Even the "Jack the killer" arguments felt lazy, like no one cared. The relationship with Frankie was flat, there was no passion.
Speaking of Frankie, he was the most unusable character. None of the friends had an opinion on him, or even like him very much. The story would be the same if he wasn't in it.
Coop overall...I don't understand any of his motivations. His character was flat and stereotypical (alternative guy who sells drug to help his mom...you can take that out of anything) and I couldn't understand why he loved Jess so much with all of her terrible qualities. He knew he was going behind his friend's back, why did he keep doing it? He seemed a stronger character without Jess dragging him down. From what we knew, I thought it was very out of character for him to be obsessed with Jess, who is mediocre at best. What was the point of him marrying Caro? If it's just to piss Jess off, it felt forced. Towards the end, I was hoping he would expose Jess for who she really was. I was rooting for you Coop!!
The characterizations for Mint and Caro were good and their development worked ten years later. I think it's because we see many sides of Mint (especially from his fraternity brothers and backstory) and Caro is the naive, good-natured soul stuck in this story (would have appreciated more backstory but w/e) The perspective chapters from Mint and Caro towards the end were wonderful -- their POV was exactly how I imagined it to be. I would have liked this book much more if it was told from everyone's perspective.
The best (and most infuriating, in a good way, part of the book) was the character of Jess. Wow! A multi-dimensional character filled with wants and desires and a sociopathic will to get what she wants, she is narcissistic and selfish and a terrible person, the most terrible of them all (including Mint). Winstead did an incredible job of painting of a college student parading around in victim clothes. Even though I would have preferred a multi-POV story, I can see why Winstead stuck with Jess. The way Jess dated Mint for status but fucked around with Coop and was too embarrassed to go public because he wasn't popular, dragged Caro around but treated her like an idiot, strung around Jack ten years later pretending to play "good guy", hated Heather for no reason and is incredibly petty to Courtney TEN YEARS LATER. Jess is THE unlikeable female narrator so many thriller authors are seeking. I was getting tired of Jess's B Story with her father but the longer it dragged on, the more I realized the author did it on purpose. There's no point in pitying Jess. She did all this to herself. How I wish the story ended with everyone realizing Jess is The Worst but ofc that would have been a too predictable ending. I love how Winstead ended it slowly, everyone drifting apart. Good for Frankie, he's the only guy who came out relatively unscathed. Probably because he wasn't involved much in the story anyways.