WHEW! I listened to the internet and bought this book because the plot of following 4 friends throughout their lives intrigued me and I knew it was gonna be sad, but OMG I wasn't expecting it to be absolutely heart-wrenching. The book ended up following one character more than the others and at first, I didn't mind because they are the most compelling out of the rest of the friend group, but later I found myself wanting to know more about the other characters. All the characters are lovable and the way the story unfolds, you find yourself wanting the best for them. I would say that this book has almost all the content warnings and that if you are sensitive to that or just can't handle sad books, then read at your own risk. Overall, I would still say to read the book at your own risk, even though it was written well, because it certainly changed the trajectory of my life.

DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THE BOOK SPOILED

Like I said, the plot said it follows 4 friends throughout their lives, but it eventually starts to just follow Jude, the friend with the most trauma EVER. His character is compelling at first and you find yourself wanting to know what happened to him that made him so f*cked in the head. As the book goes on, his character becomes insufferable, even though I sympathize with what happened to him. He constantly refuses help from his friends and his mentor. Believes himself to be unlovable despite the people in his life constantly telling and showing him that they love him and they care. He needed help bad and I found myself practically yelling at the book "GET THERAPY BRO". Jude ended up being the main character and I was sad because his two friends, JB and Malcolm, took a backseat to the story. What a coincidence. The two black characters suddenly don't matter, even though they both went through quite some things as well like addiction.

Willem didn't take so much of a backseat given he was closer to Jude and eventually them ending up together. I loved them coming to the conclusion that they loved each other not just platonically but romantically as well. Also it was hard to watch Jude get to his 30s and 40s still needing that constant validation and love that he would reject. Again found myself mad when Jude was still self-harming at 40. The last two sections of the book ripped me apart and I was BAWLING at the end of the "Happy Years" section, because the audacity to name it that! I did love the book hence my 5 star rating, but would I recommend this book to anyone? Not unless I knew they could emotionally handle it.