Lindsay and Anais grew up together and were the best of friends. Now grown, Lindsay desires his friend Anais and wishes to make her his but he is unsure if she shares his feelings. In the meantime, he’s been spending his time in opium dens, biding his time in drug fueled dreams where he imagines Anais naked and wanting him and only him. When he finally makes his move and the two declare their love, Lindsay makes a dumbass mistake that will forever change the course of their lives. After losing the trust of his beloved, things go into a downward spiral for both of them. Without the love of Anais, Lindsay gets lost in opium and becomes a full blown addict. He is torn by his two loves and may not be strong enough to choose one over the other and now Anais harbors a secret that is too painful for her ever to reveal.

Lindsay is a sensitive, loving, beautiful, f-ing mess. He can’t survive without Anais, he’s needy and weak, and completely lacks self-control. His opium hazed dreams almost intoxicate the reader and glorify his drug use for much of the book. He’s a very different sort of “hero”. He’s also remorseful, guilt-ridden and in so much pain you can’t help but hold out hope that the love of Anais will “fix” him. In reality, this situation is anything but romantic but here it’s compelling and though Lindsay and Anais are both imperfect I never felt either of them were anything but genuinely in love with each other. That’s what made their situation all the more painful.

This story is devastating its portrayal of an addictive personality and the havoc it wreaks not only on Lindsay but on those who love him most. It’s a grueling, often heart-breaking read and written with a lush beauty that drew me in and kept me breathless until the end. I can’t recommend it highly enough for those looking for something different, something sensual with very sharp edges.