"The more we justify any form of abuse, rationalize it, minimize it, or attribute it to anything other than the abuser, we fail to support the victims who actually need our compassion and empathy."

"We have to be careful about distinguishing between reactions to abuse and abusive behavior. A survivor who goes No Contact with his or her abuser, for example, is not engaging in stonewalling. They are engaging in self-care. Reactions caused by chronic abuse are not the same thing as 'mutual abuse' — they are maladaptive coping mechanisms to survive in an abusive environment. In some cases, they are also self-defensive."

"The most challenging part of the smear campaign and the narcissist's ability to depict the victim as the abuser, is that we cannot control the extent to which people believe it. We gain the most power when we seek our own validation, as difficult as it may be. Attempting to expose the narcissist can worsen the situation, as the narcissist will use any means necessary to ensure that your reputation is ruined."

"Ambient abuse — The atmosphere of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt created due to the covert abuse taking place. Sam Vaknin writes that ambient abuse creates an environment of fear and intimidation with no indication of what he calls 'traceable explicit abuse.'"