this book is fucking crazy like imagine if a jungkook akgae that's also a sasaeng wins in meeting him in an isolated space only to find out that he's just Some Guy named jungkook. like that's it. that's the book. crazy beautiful prose too. felt a little lost in the thought process of our nameless protag but i suppose that makes sense as she slowly loses her marbles falling for moon and trying to meet him. anyway yeah i've had a lot of similar idealogies as the guy she was seeing in the beginning but Nothing encapsulated today's stan culture more than "we no longer go to church once a week; we attend a stadium concert once a year". like... yeah... YEAH!!!

i'll probably bump this up to a 5 soon because it's been 3 days and i still can't stop thinking about this like this might actually live with me forever precisely bc i've been a fan of music for over half my life and a silly little kpoppie for almost 7 years