My first read of the year was a non-fiction one, who is she🫣 A memoir about domestic abuse in a queer relationship, examining the cultural representations of non-physical abuse and its reality. In addition to the topic of abuse, Machado explores the intersectionality between the queer community and its history of abuse, the lack of accurate archives and accounts (“archival silence”) due to homophobia and the ability to record history lying in the hands of the powerful/oppressor. Even though it may be harmful to “record/archive” the negative parts of humanity that exist also in queer relationships, Machado claims it is essential, to show that there is a shared humanity. One page really stood out to me “First, forget I am a lesbian. And second, never forget I am a lesbian.” It is to say that our relationships are not unlike your heterosexual relationships, with its ugliness and sorrows… but ours are also different because we have struggles you never have to face.

Machado also unpacks stereotypes on queer/lesbian relationships and their impact - for example how people view them as utopian, harmless, and thus unlikely to be abusive; how others impose gender roles “who is the man in the relationship?” and assume the more masculine person to fit the mold of “abuser” and more feminine person the “victim”. 

Each chapter is short and terse, though not lacking in intensity, with every page leaving the reader with things to mull over and reflect upon. A very powerful read, challenged me from start to finish. I really recommend this to all!!