“Don’t let your insecurities overpower that which makes your soul come alive.”

Ashley Jade brought me to my knees.
I don’t know what kind of sorcery or drugs she put into her writing, I only know I want more of it. I binged this book like a starved madwoman, eating while reading and only pausing to pee and sleep when my eyes gave out. I honestly can’t remember the last time a book gripped me so tightly. This story was an experience, and it deserves five stars because of it.

I absolutely loved the first part of this book. It felt incredibly raw and real. It was as innocent as it was beautiful and painful.

I loved Lennon. I missed relating to a character the way I did with her. She was incredibly selfless and kind. The way she helped Phoenix with his dyslexia, making him feel safe in his vulnerability, showing him it didn’t make him less of a person because of it, almost broke me into tiny pieces. What actually broke me was Phoenix’s betrayal and cruelty. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to thoroughly punch a main character in the teeth.

”He might burn me, but I’ll go down like Joan of Arc.”

Lennon’s growth was amazing. She lost weight for herself and no one else, and she didn’t need to be a size zero for the story to propel. She was still plus size and dealing with her issues. She was also more vocally confident with others and herself in general. I felt like her exterior demeanor finally matched her inner fire. She’s always known her worth even though she struggled to accept it. She talked back to her bullies and defended herself from them and didn’t shy away from putting Phoenix in his place when necessary.

When I thought my heart couldn’t break even more, her dad’s health came knocking like a tsunami. It was painful to see her struggling, especially in the end. Thank God for Mrs. Palma. I loved that woman so much. She truly was the mom she didn’t have.

“Does it hurt to hear me everywhere you go?”

“He breathes me in, I bleed him out.”

I had a love-hate relationship with Phoenix from beginning to end. I really wished he wasn’t such a cliché rock star, that’s what disappointed me the most in the representation of his character. He also didn’t grovel nearly as much as he should have. But at the same time, he was so magnetic it was impossible to resist his charm. He’s definitely a complex character with a long history of hardships, and it hurt to see everything he went through.

”Music sets my soul on fire, but she makes my heart beat.”

“I’d rather be miserable with her than happy with anyone else.”

When Lennon found those letters, I almost forgot everything bad about him. Actually, no. When he cleaned Lennon’s harmful words off her body, that’s when I lost it. And then I lost it even more when he wrote beautiful ones instead. And continued to lose it even further when he put her first, making her his priority and being there for her when she lost her dad.

”Her voice is as resilient as she is.
I could listen to her sing all fucking day.”

I wish we could listen to the music of this book. I want to experience both Lennon’s and Phoenix’s voices on a spiritual level. I caved like a folding chair whenever Phoenix listened to Lennon singing and how much he loved her voice from the very beginning.

I honestly really liked the secondary characters of this book, they didn’t feel like add-ons to embellish the plot. They felt real and as deserving of their place as the main characters. Except for Chandler, he could die in a ditch for all I care.

I loved Quinn fiercely. She was one of the bravest characters I’ve read. I broke down when her father almost beat her to death. I saw red at that moment, I wanted to rip him to shreds with my bare hands.

I can’t wait for [b:The Consequences|62883956] so I can finally discover Skylar & Memphis's story, because I refuse to start book 1 and drown in a cliffhanger. I already know it’s going to break me, I just hope it heals me in the end, just like this one did.

I also want more of Storm and Grams and I’m heartbroken to learn he won’t have a book. I’d sell a kidney to have his and Quinn’s book.

Finally, I’m not sure how I feel about the ending. It kinda felt a bit abrupt. And I disliked Lennon’s plan to reestablish Phoenix by basically covering and lying on his behalf. What he did was wrong, and he needs to live with the consequences of his actions. There were other ways for him to go back to the band and put Vic in his place.

PS: I wish I could also bitch-slap the crap out of George. Yes, the way Lennon treated him was awful. She shouldn’t have strung him along, much less had sex at his birthday party in his sightline. But taking those intimate pictures and selling them was sick. His comments about her body were also nasty, and I didn’t feel bad, not even a little bit when Phoenix beat him to within an inch of his life.