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A review by jeremychiasson
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story by Jacob Tobia
4.0
Who knew that Jacob Tobia, the voice of "Double Trouble" in She-Ra wrote a rather excellent book? In "Sissy", Tobia sets out to rebel against the mainstream, classical trans narrative, and they do so with boatloads of humour, unexpected metaphors, and "fabulosity".
Tobia explains that their problem isn't that they were born the wrong gender, but rather that they "wanted all the gender they could get". They want everyone (regardless of gender identification) to embrace more possibilities for how we can express our authentic selves, because they believe that the binary is limiting and serves only to reinforce misogyny and the patriarchal structures of power.
One of the highlights of the book for me was when Tobia distills every trans story I've ever heard into a game of Gender Mad Libs to prove how rigid and formulaic the "Official" trans narrative has become. Tobia isn't just making this point to entertain, however as they go on to explain that if cis gatekeepers only ever know one "official" trans story, they won't grant medical access/validation/rights to trans people that fail to fit inside these narrow narrative parameters. The stories we tell about groups of people (particularly marginalized groups) aren't mere fancy, they carry very real consequences for how those people will be treated by society.
It's hard to believe that this memoir stops at Tobia's college graduation, because they have already accomplished so much and met so many famous people--they write about the difficulty of wearing heels while working at the U.N., getting interviewed on MSNBC, meeting Barack Obama (and being utterly infatuated), and living in the same dorm as basketball superstar Kyrie Irving.
Despite the themes of gender and identity, this book reads a lot like a chatty, comedic memoir along the lines of Mindy Kaling, Nora Ephron, Tina Fey (I'm not sure if Tobia is quite as gifted as these writers, but to be fair they haven't spent years working as professional comedy writers). I will say "Sissy" runs out of steam a bit in the second half, but overall this was a fun, eye-opening, and worthwhile read. 3.5 stars.
Tobia explains that their problem isn't that they were born the wrong gender, but rather that they "wanted all the gender they could get". They want everyone (regardless of gender identification) to embrace more possibilities for how we can express our authentic selves, because they believe that the binary is limiting and serves only to reinforce misogyny and the patriarchal structures of power.
One of the highlights of the book for me was when Tobia distills every trans story I've ever heard into a game of Gender Mad Libs to prove how rigid and formulaic the "Official" trans narrative has become. Tobia isn't just making this point to entertain, however as they go on to explain that if cis gatekeepers only ever know one "official" trans story, they won't grant medical access/validation/rights to trans people that fail to fit inside these narrow narrative parameters. The stories we tell about groups of people (particularly marginalized groups) aren't mere fancy, they carry very real consequences for how those people will be treated by society.
It's hard to believe that this memoir stops at Tobia's college graduation, because they have already accomplished so much and met so many famous people--they write about the difficulty of wearing heels while working at the U.N., getting interviewed on MSNBC, meeting Barack Obama (and being utterly infatuated), and living in the same dorm as basketball superstar Kyrie Irving.
Despite the themes of gender and identity, this book reads a lot like a chatty, comedic memoir along the lines of Mindy Kaling, Nora Ephron, Tina Fey (I'm not sure if Tobia is quite as gifted as these writers, but to be fair they haven't spent years working as professional comedy writers). I will say "Sissy" runs out of steam a bit in the second half, but overall this was a fun, eye-opening, and worthwhile read. 3.5 stars.