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A review by jenbsbooks
Firefight by Brandon Sanderson
5.0
There is a little conversation in this book: "you're not actually bad at metaphors..." "Thanks!" "...because most of the things you say are SIMILES." I totally said that in my review of Steelheart! I was happy to have it justified here. *Ü* And just to prove HOW BAD David's similes are ...
• The place was as black as the inside of a can of black paint that had also been painted black.
• I mixed with ordinary people about the same way that a bucket of paint mixed with a bag of gerbils.
• It was like trying to balance a pot full of frogs on the tips of two half-cooked pieces of spaghetti.
• I felt like a cupcake on a steak plate.
• I'm intense like a lion is tannish.
• It called to me like the ding on a microwave as it finished nuking a pizza pocket.
• It was like I was a donut, and somebody had sucked all the jelly out of me.
• ... it was like a calzone stuffed with dynamite
• ... like discovering the Santa Claus was secretly a Nazi.
• ... like I was a piece of snot on the windshield following a sneeze.
• ... like a catapult that shoots enormous grapes.
• ... like a punk guitarist it a mariachi band.
• ... exhaling like an epileptic pilot who'd just landed a cargo plane full of dynamite.
• ...looming over me like a roomate who just heard you open a bag of toffee-pulls.
• The sun sank down like a giant golden pat of butter melting onto the corn of New Jersey (okay, that is a pretty nice simile!)
Beyond the bad similes ... there were just silly statements like "Easy as pie. Not that I actually knew how to make pie." or "This time when she'd pointed the gun at me, she'd flicked the safety on. If that wasn't true love, I don't know what was." or "But the machine had always been finicky, and it had chosen this moment to finick."
... but I loved it! It's fun to have a book make me laugh, while providing a story and action. Even in this completely unrealistic setting and situation, it STILL calls for suspension of disbelief ... David is really good at guessing Epic's weaknesses. I mean ... Kool-Aid? Seriously, how did they GUESS that? And compliments? He really makes some leaps (literally and figuratively).
4.5 stars ... I really sped through this book! I'm really looking forward to the 3rd and final book. I have it on hold at the library and hope I don't have to wait long.
• The place was as black as the inside of a can of black paint that had also been painted black.
• I mixed with ordinary people about the same way that a bucket of paint mixed with a bag of gerbils.
• It was like trying to balance a pot full of frogs on the tips of two half-cooked pieces of spaghetti.
• I felt like a cupcake on a steak plate.
• I'm intense like a lion is tannish.
• It called to me like the ding on a microwave as it finished nuking a pizza pocket.
• It was like I was a donut, and somebody had sucked all the jelly out of me.
• ... it was like a calzone stuffed with dynamite
• ... like discovering the Santa Claus was secretly a Nazi.
• ... like I was a piece of snot on the windshield following a sneeze.
• ... like a catapult that shoots enormous grapes.
• ... like a punk guitarist it a mariachi band.
• ... exhaling like an epileptic pilot who'd just landed a cargo plane full of dynamite.
• ...looming over me like a roomate who just heard you open a bag of toffee-pulls.
• The sun sank down like a giant golden pat of butter melting onto the corn of New Jersey (okay, that is a pretty nice simile!)
Beyond the bad similes ... there were just silly statements like "Easy as pie. Not that I actually knew how to make pie." or "This time when she'd pointed the gun at me, she'd flicked the safety on. If that wasn't true love, I don't know what was." or "But the machine had always been finicky, and it had chosen this moment to finick."
... but I loved it! It's fun to have a book make me laugh, while providing a story and action. Even in this completely unrealistic setting and situation, it STILL calls for suspension of disbelief ... David is really good at guessing Epic's weaknesses. I mean ... Kool-Aid? Seriously, how did they GUESS that? And compliments? He really makes some leaps (literally and figuratively).
4.5 stars ... I really sped through this book! I'm really looking forward to the 3rd and final book. I have it on hold at the library and hope I don't have to wait long.