A review by kurtwombat
Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

dark emotional inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

 
This book is an anguished cry. Most memoirs show growth or progress or resolution. This is not that kind of book. Instead it scuttles expectation by remaining a free fall into grief. There is no safety net of “this is how I got through it”,  just the constant awareness of other—that grief always at your side. While the song of her grief is personal, anyone who has grieved can pick up the rhythm. This view into her anger and sadness is so precise that I found myself time and again saying, yes-yes that’s been me.  The book itself mimics grief. It dwells in shock and pain and has the feeling of no forward movement. The world around her is still humming and churning forward but Adichie herself does not move. And then it ends. Abruptly. And I was left alone with my quiet reaction—grieving of sorts for a book I hoped would last longer. 

Much of the reaction I have read to this book is critical of Adichie for not wrapping her grief up in a bow and giving the reader an “it’s gonna be okay” pat on the head.  I applaud her for not writing the kind of book that she knows would not have done her any good. 

For even more devastating takes on grief, check out Joan Didion’s THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING and Edward Hirsch’s GABRIEL: A POEM. Hirsh’s book in particular left me decimated.