I have been wanting to read this book for the longest time since it was mentioned on a radio interview, I did about Booktok. For this month, the book club I participate in, we decided that everyone was going to read a different book, one that we already own and to give our opinion. I decided to choose this one, mainly because of the title and I think it would be an interesting read, and it was messy and beautiful.  

This book is about Feyi Adekola, and she wants to learn how to be alive again. It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now – an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career. She's even started dating the perfect guy, but their new relationship might be sabotaged before it has a chance by the dangerous thrill Feyi feels every time she locks eyes with the one person in the house who is definitely off-limits. The new life she asked for just got a lot more complicated, and Feyi must begin her search for real answers.  

This is the first book I've read from this author, and it won’t be the last. This book was so beautifully written but also completely chaotic. I love the way this author writes about grief, she did it in a way that was so beautiful and would only make sense to a select group of people. I love the LGBT aspect and how they are both trying to be themselves within this messy world. I liked the slow build up between the characters and how they were both struggling with their feelings but couldn’t denied the attraction between each other. I liked the deep conversations they were having with each other and how they were very open and honest with each other. I love the way that Feyi uses her grief to make this beautiful and dark artwork. I adore Feyi and just wanted to hug her so much for what she went through and how she managed to find herself again. 

I love the friendship between Feyi and Joy, but I would have loved for Joy to have been on the island with Feyi when all this was going down and I wanted her to have a happy ending as well. I felt like it was a bit rushed with Joy ending, we never actually find out if her girlfriend was leaving her husband. I feel like Joy was there as the best friend she slept with and a different kind of love and her voice of reason, but she was only there to move the story along.  

I would love for this to be a series maybe from Joy’s point of view on how she wants to navigate her way through this messy world as well.