“Parents of behaviorally challenging kids know a thing or two about feeling ostracized. They know they’re blamed for their child’s challenging behavior, despite the fact that they have other children who are well behaved. They don’t want to be defensive, but feeling blamed doesn’t make that any easier. They want to trust that their child is being well treated at school, but there are many signs to the contrary. Whatever the school is doing isn’t working – their child is still on the receiving end of countless counseling sessions, detentions, suspensions and worse – but the parents feel powerless to do anything about it.”

This paragraph in “Lost & Found” might be the most insightful and powerful paragraph I’ve ever read. This paragraph sums up the life my husband and I are currently leading when it comes to our child. In one of the most frustrating, worrisome and stressful situations I’ve ever experienced - “Lost & Found” gave me some hope. Hope that my child’s behavior is not due to choices made, or personality issues – but because of a lack of skills to cope with or process certain situations. Dr.
Greene posits that “Kids do well if they can. …if the kid could do well, he would do well, and that if he’s not doing well, he must be lacking the skills to do well.”

He also notes that rarely, if ever, do the punitive actions taken by schools help the situation. They remove the child from the situation briefly, but when s/he comes back, the situation is still the same, if not worse.

He gives advice on using a tool called ASLUP (Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems) so that teachers and parents can best identify where skills need to be taught that then will help change behavior. It is very detailed and in depth and really gets to the heart of issues.

School is out for the summer (thank GOODNESS) – but when it is back in session – I hope to be able to use this advice and that tool to make my child’s school life dramatically better.