What an unbelievably boring book. How is it that I listened to 2.5 hours of this audiobook and the term “pecan sandy” was used no fewer than 10 times?? How is it that I listened to 2.5 hours of this audio and nothing fucking happened at all? Has Stephen King ever MET a millennial? Did he live through the year 2013?? Literally not a single thought went into making this a believable version of a teenager in 2013 except for that single time he’s amazed someone doesn’t have a cellphone. Otherwise, referring to the year as “13” (no one talks like that, not a single person on earth reflects back on the year 2013 and refers to it as just “13”). The references to Psycho, The Exorcist, and other old horror movies as “required viewing” for his peers. Teenagers? In 2013? Yeah some of them have seen those but they would be FAR from anything all teenagers at that time are familiar with. Referring to the dog as Kujo, like I get it Stephen King you want to reference your own work but a teenager this age at this time would refer to a crazed, scary dog owned by a reclusive owner as The Beast after the dog from The Sandlot. Again, maybe some people know what Kujo is but it’s far from a well known reference for this demographic. And finally, all of the teenagers inherently knowing that the name “Radar” is a reference to the show MASH without being told. As a 17 year in 2013 who actually had seen MASH and knew that reference I can tell you that the other teenagers in 2013 who had ever even HEARD of the show MASH was extremely limited let alone any who were familiar enough to instantly recognize the name Radar as a reference. 

Anyway, end rant and I’m giving up on this book. This is why I can’t stand books by old white men!