"Bipolar disorder is the villain of this story. It has been a source of pain, but it has also been a fountain of strength. So save the pity. I am not a victim to mental illness. I am the hero of this story and I do not need to be saved."

Crazy is my Superpower by AJ Mendez rocked my world. For those not familiar with her, she is the former WWE Women's Champion AJ Lee who was instrumental in kicking down doors for women and who had a reputation for being unapologetically herself and showing women that they don't need to fold to societal expectations to be accepted. Today she is an advocate for mental health, promotes treatment and uses her voice to fiercely dispel myths and stigmas about mental health disorders. 

I read this one because I knew I wanted to talk about mental health in the Puerto Rican community for #prheritagemonthtour. AJ shares her story of growing up in immense poverty in NJ and the abuse and neglect she faced from her teenage parents. At an early age, she learned to be self reliant and not care what anyone else thought of her. It has been her survival strategy throughout her life. Reading about her childhood broke me so many tears and I cried at so many points.

What I loved about AJ's story is that sheds light about mental illness in Puerto Rican culture. At an early age, her father instilled the idea that mental illness is a sign of weakness in a person. This was AJ's mantra since she was a little girl and reminds me of the messaging that so many boricua women get. They have to swallow their emotions and just power through life because they're expected to be strong always. She also talks about how the stigma attached to seeking help, prevented her mother from getting help until her symptoms had spiraled out of control and she almost died. She cites the denial, lack of education about mental health and stigma robbed her mother and their family of having a more fulfilled life. 

I saw so much of myself in AJ when she talked about the anxieties that Puerto Rican girls face from being oversexualized and shamed within their own families, the overwhelming burden of having to take on financial responsibilities due to poverty and the codependency

What was beautiful about AJ's story is that she leaves for forgiveness and hope. She reminds us that people aren't the problem, the intolerance and the disease are what rob people of their ability to seek out help without shame. AJ refrains the narrative and in her own life focuses on the strengths she found within her mental illness and stays true to herself and who she is at her core. She never let's the mental illness define her. Instead she reminds people that it is just a part of who she is. I also appreciated how AJ leaves room for nuanced conversations about the complexities of being a women, having a mental illness and how misogyny comes into play in the workplace and in other areas of life. She talks about how women are always called the B- word or crazy if they reject men's inappropriate behavior and how this further leads to mental illness being stigmatized and made fun of. 

This book is one I will think about for a long time because of how it changed me. It out to words so many things that so many Puerto Ricans have experienced and it unapologetically reminds us that it takes strength, bravery and fortitude and reframe our stories and make changes happen for our families and ourselves. If we are going to stop letting mental illness win, we have to start being the champions of treatment, educating others and helping our loved ones come to a place of healing. If highly recommend everyone read this one and pick up a copy for someone who may be struggling to seek out help.