Lowndes is writing a more contemporary update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People , with more contemporary being a relative term since this book is very 1990s, full of travel agents and desk phones and with nary a mention of that new-fangled internet thing, which is probably just for hopeless geeks.

While a lot of other reviews have criticized this book for being insincere, I disagree. While there are 92 tricks, they fall into three big categories. The first is that everyone appreciates sustained attention, which you can signal that you are giving through sustained eye contact, slow and large smiles, and noticing and recalling little details about a person. Give people a chance to shine, and they'll like you.


Although I worry I'm coming across more like this

The second category is to be considerate of people's time and emotions. Make sure that this is actually a good time to talk and sympathize with people's difficulties. One "oh duh" moment is that if you need someone to do something for you, let them empty their mind of complaints and problems first, and frame your offer as a solution to a problem they have.

The third category is how to act high-status. According to Lowndes, Big Cats are assured and confident; little pusses are hurried and worried. Don't put others down, ever. Don't jump to business before the end of a meal. Wait a decent interval before calling in a favor, and leave it unspoken that this is a tit-for-tat favor. Remember celebrities are people too so don't over-intrude, and be appreciative of recent work. And if someone abuses your trust, don't call it out, just never give them a second chance.

I really should go back and do a more systematic summary.