I absolutely loved this audiobook. Danice Cabanela narrated expertly and in doing so, made me feel as if I were among family. I found Lila very relatable, though I can understand several of the personal critiques she experiences from her family. She, as a Filipino American, tries to live by all the lessons taught to her from her close knit family and community, but oftentimes feels like she falls short. Little shots at her weight or how she only thinks about herself are comments I know all too well from my own Filipino family. ‘Family first’ is a sentiment shared across numerous cultures but it can sometimes grate on a person if they feel like their dreams or needs are being stifled. I would do depraved things to protect my family, but my god I cannot handle their constant presence.

I do totally get though why she was considered self centered. Even when dealing with Sam’s bullshit, she was (understandably) very focused on herself. It seemed like the more it was pointed out, the more irritated Lila got until it actually clicked in her brain how much she let slip through the cracks while dealing with her trauma. I wish she’d have been more forthcoming about what she went through, especially with Adina, because the pretty sudden change in her attitude when Lila was critical of drug users gave me some whiplash.

But hey, we’ve got some murders, right?? Derek dies after eating food from Tita Rosie’s and his dick of a stepdad makes everyone’s lives a little worse. Did Derek deserve it? I mean, overall probably not, but he seemed content burning his bridges with every other restaurant in town. As a food critic he was the literal worst but I guess it was his way of ultimately saving his own skin. He was in deep with the drugs and the people who supplied those drugs didn’t sound like they’d be chill with him dipping for a better life. So yeah, he brought in money in other ways, but the people he burned in his critiques didn’t deserve that.

I found so much subtle humor in the meeting of Dr. Jay and Adina’s brother. No one’s outwardly admitted being interested in each other but clearly they both have some kind of affection for Lila considering that little pissing contest. Amir has an easy companionship with Lila and we know she has feelings for him but his body language was an indicator of his feelings toward her. Dr. Jay clearly is into Lila and she thinks he’s attractive. I did like though that the plot didn’t center around romance because with multiple attacks around the community, getting together would seemed unrealistic.

Kevin comes in for the clincher as the Big Bad, which was interesting. My brain is working constantly picking out every single character, even ones we only meet once or twice, to look at if they could possibly be the murderer. I had already thought he’d been part of the whole thing when it was mentioned that Derek only let Kevin make his drinks. He was involved somehow, I just couldn’t pinpoint why. Was he also a drug runner? He’s got no people in town, he could fit the bill. I enjoyed the misdirection and when it finally clicked into place you better believe i screamed CALLED IT!

I may or may not have gotten strange looks from my boss...