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i genuinely feel bad i didn’t like this book because i read this based on the glowing recommendations from booktubers i trust for a video. but despite my efforts to enjoy it, this book just wasn’t for me. i’m not even sure i can fully explain what i just read. i went through the glossary, the family tree, the whole book, and by the end, i still couldn’t tell you what it was actually about.

first off, this book has no real plot. raeve is supposed to be an assassin working for this mysterious organization, which sounded so cool in theory and is the kind of premise i love. but it ends up being completely irrelevant to the actual story. the whole “assassin for justice” angle isn’t explored beyond a few scattered mentions and her organization is barely a factor. it felt like such a waste of potential. i kept waiting for the story to come together, for the stakes to rise, for something to happen, but it never did.

the world-building had promise but it was so poorly executed that i couldn’t even appreciate it. the glossary should’ve been supplemental but instead it was essential just to understand basic terms, places, and magical elements. even then it didn’t make the world feel cohesive. the elemental magic system could have been so interesting but it was barely present and didn’t play any real role in the story. it felt like the author had this big, unique vision but didn’t know how to make it accessible to readers. instead everything came across as clunky, confusing, and unnecessarily pretentious.

and the romance...oh god. i don’t even know where to start. i’m usually a sucker for a good enemies to lovers trope fantasy romance but this one just didn’t work for me. raeve and kaan’s chemistry felt nonexistent and their relationship seemed to revolve entirely around how hot and big kaan is. raeve would go on these long internal monologues about his looks but never about anything meaningful or emotional. the romance ended up dominating the book but it also managed to be shallow and underdeveloped. i think i could’ve overlooked this if the romance hadn’t been the centerpiece of the story but because it was it just made every flaw stand out even more. i didn’t buy into their connection at all, which made their moments together feel awkward and unconvincing.

to make matters worse, raeve is just not a likable or compelling main character. she’s supposed to be this badass, morally gray assassin but her actions are so inconsistent. she claims to care deeply about justice and protecting the little guy but as soon as kaan enters the picture, all of that flies out the window. her “sassiness” comes across as grating and her lack of curiosity about her own mysterious past is downright frustrating. i was ready to scream every time she pushed people away “for their own good” or made dumb decisions that felt more like cheap plot devices than genuine character choices.

by the time i finished this book i was exhausted. the prose was unnecessarily drawn-out, the pacing dragged, and the story felt like it was trying too hard to be deep and unique without actually delivering on anything meaningful. i kept hoping it would get better, that the world-building would start to make sense, or the plot would pick up, or the romance would feel earned. but instead it just left me confused and disappointed. i’m relieved to be done with it and i don’t think i’ll be picking up the sequel.