The terms “Toxic Masculinity”, “Frail Masculinity” and “Male Privilege” are all timely and important. They give language to something almost everyone feels, and pretty much no one likes.

Toxic connotes something that is poisonous, and almost contagious, you feel your skin itch, and your cells dying when you get too close.

Radioactive.

Carcinogenic.

Irritating in small doses.

Deadly with chronic exposure.

Like:
- Fentanyl.
- Chernobyl.
- Exxon Valdez.
- Melting Glaciers.
- A sewage treatment plant built on a beautiful beach.

Toxic masculinity is undeniable in its aversive, near unsalvageable, unredeemable repugnance.

Toxic masculinity is that type of male thinking, feeling and behavior that is unbalanced, wanton, caustic and tirelessly destructive.

Mean.

Bloviating.

And delighting in inflicting pain and suffering.

Frail Masculinity is a close variant.

Insecure.

No chill at all.

Can’t take a joke.

Overly demonstrative.

Twisted and kinky (in the bad way).

And male privilege is…

The special sauce that all that other stuff floats around in.

It’s very real.

It’s overtly recognizable by anyone who doesn’t have it.

The worst part about it is.

Most guys don’t realize they have it.

Until it is denied.

And then….

Watch the fuck out!

But on the flip.

What (precisely) is the generative male ideal?

What aspects of masculinity should we value and affirm?

What archetypes should men emulate and evoke?

And how (exactly) should men go about doing this?

These are some of the questions Robert More and Douglas Gillette attempt to answer in The King Within.

They assert that men need to have functional and developed masculine archetypes in order to be psychologically healthy.

They offer the King, Magician, Warrior and Lover archetypes as a starter kit, and assert that the failure to develop the laudable versions of these leads to the tyrannical, scammy, clueless, abusive and insecure traits associated with the toxic, frail and privileged masculinity mentioned previously.

I have to say.

I liked this book despite A LOT of aversion and misgiving.

I am generally wary of these types of books.

I think it is ABSOLUTELY appropriate to be skeptical and cautious when it comes to this sort of thing.

That being said.

I think this book offers a lot of valuable insights.

I’m looking for new directions as a therpaist.

I’m at a crossroads in my life.

I’m venturing out in new ways.

And I’m hungry for some kind of wisdom and inspiration to keep stepping towards my vision instead of bailing and fulfilling someone else’s.

I liked this book quite a bit.

I may even re-read it at some point.

4/5 stars ✨

Why 4 not 5 starts?

Some of the ideas are dated.

Some of the thinking is soft.

I’m willing to bypass some of the nonsense to get at the (surprisingly) good other stuff.

But a one star deduction for dippy new age and outdated passages seems fair.