I think the most disappointing thing about this book is a lack of guidance on how to build relationships with LGBT people and more about playing the opposition, uplifting organizations that aim to criminalize *being* LGBT (not just gay marriage), and spreads blatant misinformation of the history and aims of LGBT people.

This book features a larger portion of itself dedicated to quippy rebuttals to short slogans/phrases than it does to actually talking with teens about the LGBT people that may be in their life or those they meet in the future. 85 pages are dedicated to fighting single-statement retorts and refuses to engage in deeper counterpoints that others may have in the case of LGBT acceptance.

The initial chapters already sets up the cards: Being LGBT is ‘a choice’, a ‘behavior’, and it’s somehow LGBT people’s fault that many Christians are labeled as bigots and not said Christians’ own contempt towards queer communities. Already from its opening chapters, LGBT people are framed as the antithesis of Christians, and while the author awkwardly tries to say he’s actually friends with a gay person (more on that later), it’s clear this book is more about parents prepping their kids to be an opposing force rather than a uniting one, and treating LGBT support as only straw-men statements instead of a well-researched, long-standing history of people trying to survive and wanting to be a part of their communities.

The book is already very dated in much of the arguments claiming that there is ‘no scientific data’ for why same-sex marriage and gay parents shouldn’t exist:
“I guarantee you there is no good research on the effects of same-sex parenting on children. None. There couldn’t be…No study could be complete without following a group of children at least into adulthood, and then following their children into adulthood.”

Let’s set aside the fact that LGBT people have been parents for decades, whether doing so from previous marriages or by co-parenting with their partners, at least since the 70s in America. Let’s also set aside all studies conducted pre-2016 (of this books publishing and of same-sex marriage being legalized in the United States), as the author somehow assumes that only when a couple is legally married do they suddenly have children.
Several studies have come out within the past several years to support same-sex couples and their growing families (Same-sex and different-sex parent households and child health outcomes…2018, School Outcomes of Children Raised by Same-Sex Parents…2020, …(LGBT) Parented Families: A Literature Review prepared for The Australian Psychological Society 2020, Gender and Stability of Same Sex 2017, etc), and that is not including the studies conducted since the 70s pre-2016.
I’m not even going to touch the fact that the author is demanding that a study must follow at least three generations of a family in order to determine if one gay couple is good enough to be parents.

The author claims the books ‘After the Ball’ and ‘The Overhauling of Straight America’ (both published in the 1980s) are somehow ultra-secret handbooks that LGBT people are using as a ‘self-serving plea’ for gay rights and acceptance, when in actuality these books are dated, niche, and are by no means circulated in LGBT circles for these to be considered as such.
The citations of these books are listed as two of three books under the ‘pro-lgbt views’ tab of the resources guide. The books mentioned are also strangely only widely cited by anti-LGBT books and orgs to make a case that there is a ‘gay agenda’. Fascinating.
I find it interesting that the author only wanted to include one ‘modern’ book that is only theological in topic, and not including any relating to how acceptance of LGBT people has been scientifically proven to improve quality of life for said individuals.

On the topic of studies, the author also tries to dismiss the issues of suicide rates with LGBT people, and tries to ‘subtly’ imply that it’s not because they’re discriminated against but rather the ‘lifestyle’ is hurting them. The notion of ignoring the CDC, NLM, Yale, and other non-LGBT orgs when it comes to understanding that ‘acceptance = better quality of life’ and ‘discrimination = worse quality of life + suicide rate increase’ comes easily to the author, it seems.

The author also engages the usage of ‘the slippery slope’, after all if gay people get married, then pedos and incest and all that crazy stuff is to follow! (sarcasm)
So it’s been a couple years, and it hasn’t happened. The fact that the author feels the need to compare a same-sex couple with deplorable actions that harm children, animals, or family members is horrible. The fact that the author would then boldly say he isn’t the slightest bit bigoted is cringe-worthy. It should be noted that ‘child marriage’ has already been legalized long before same-sex marriage in several states, and often Republicans and religious groups refuse to change the laws to make it illegal, not LGBT orgs or activists.

Shifting gears and going back to the previously mentioned gay friend, it was baffling to see that the author need to clarify something:
“I’ve been to more than one party hosted by a gay friend of mine…(if you’re wondering whether there was anything weird going on at these parties, the answer is no…)”
Why did the author feel the need to reassure the reader that nothing ‘weird’ was going on? This is presented in the same chapter where the author tries to explain that ‘homophobia’ literally means being scared of gay people instead of the much larger encompassing of negative attitudes, antipathy, and institutionalized discrimination that the word is commonly used for. The author wanting to prioritize the optics of going to a party with a gay friend rather than taking the time to teach the reader how to build said friendship in the first place is telling.

Rapid fire issues include but are not limited to:
- Comparing gay rights to gentrification
- Claiming that LGBT people want to usurp cis-hetero people and their marriages (using the previously mentioned ‘The Overhauling of Straight America’ as ‘evidence’)
- Is dismissive of just how terribly many Christians have treated LGBT people on various levels
- Grouping a genetic predisposition for addiction and sexuality together as if they’re in the same ballpark
- Listing a now defunct celibate-gay christian site where a good handful of the members on that board seem down for gay marriage now
- Uplifting the Alliance Defending Freedom (of which has been fighting to criminalize LGBT people’s lives and partnerships) and figures such as Michael Brown (who has been widely criticized for supporting conversion therapy and promoting ‘junk science’ on human sexuality)
- Claiming that LGBT people holding anger towards churches and Christians is just as bad as the physical, emotional, social, and legal torment said churches and Christians put LGBT through
- Implying that divorce is somewhat to blame on gay people getting married
- Claiming that no culture across the entire history of the world has never had or accepted same-sex partnerships (this one had me setting the book down so I could pace the room a bit)

Lastly, this book attempts to be a guide on how parents can engage with their teenagers on how to talk about LGBT people and topics. However, the book refuses to explain how one can build positive relationships with LGBT people and how teens can roam the world alongside them. The book also quietly mentions that it doesn’t have any advice or resources for if the reader’s child comes out as gay/trans, in a move I find particularly cowardly considering how boldly the author asserts everything else.

Not a good book and an absolutely dated one at that. An unfortunate book in my collection, and I take at least a little shrewd of hope knowing these kinds of books are going out of fashion and that this one in particular isn’t even remotely popular.