Highly detailed scene setting, has great potential but -- just my opinion -- I don't find this well-written. There are repeated words, phrases and concepts that a close edit should have tidied away, and it's constant, not once or twice.

Plus, at a third of the way through, all the action has been in the first two chapters, and now we're just wandering around after some fairly bland characters while clunky exposition takes place.  

I was hoping once the main plot kicked in, that the writing would smooth out and the author start to have fun, but I don't have the patience to see if that will yet happen.