I have no idea what do I think of this book. Did it subtly change my life? Yes. Did it change the way I think about words and language? Also yes. But did I like it? I really don't know.
The story itself was very touching and I cried several times, but the book was so short for what it was trying to do. The story takes place over decades and often jumps several years forward. I really struggled to relate to anyone after these jumps - the Esme I got to know is no more, now I'm supposed to relate to this much older version of her? What does she like, how did she change, did all these years mean nothing for her? I often found myself kind of editing the story in my head and adding imaginary details to it just so I could care at least a little bit about what was happening.
And the other major problem I had was that the author apparently took the show don't tell advice a bit too literally. Not only was it difficult to feel like I know the characters, almost all emotions are shown exclusively through outward expressions. There were several very important chapters where I simply did not know what was happening for most of them because the author wouldn't tell me and I was supposed to figure it out on my own. It was quite distracting and took me out of the story a lot.

When Dr Murray died, I felt literally zero emotion except confusion because I was not sure if he died or if something else happened.

I was often simply confused - the main heroine was going through a lot of this I have not even come close to experiencing and all information about her emotions were little gestures and the words she collected. A lot of the time, I was thinking about what am I supposed be getting out of the scene instead of experiencing the story.
And then the ending :( It left me feeling kind of sad and hollow, but not in the good sense, in the sense that my book must've been printed wrong and is missing a chapter. I guess I can see why author would choose this ending, and perhaps if I had just a bit bigger connection to the characters it would've worked, but... It just felt incomplete.

I was mainly confused at both Gareth's and Esme's deaths. I understand that death is sometimes very sudden but just... no.

So yeah, this was a very ambivalent read. It was genuinely great! Except a lot of the times it wasn't. At the very least, I'm quite certain that the main themes and idea will stay with me for a long time.