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A review by delijha711
The Office Photocopier Wants to Have Sex With Me by Leonard Delaney
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.25
Alas, I'm here again, on this app and just continuing to read this mans... attraction to machinery? Or at least objects. Anywho, here's my detailed review of this book with a title that takes longer for me to say than the book. But not really, obviously.
So we jump right in where Tatiana is speaking to a sentient Photocopier, why it is sentient, I don't know. But she's SUPER positive this thing wants to fuck her cause it says her name in a flirty way like all the other dudes in the office who flirt with her. Again, how a Photocopier can convey tone let alone flirtation, escapes me. But also my fault for expecting logic. So they flirt and he makes her copies she gives to her boss and the boss sucks and calls her Tats, terrible, would infuriate me so I get her pain. The next day the Photocopier flirts with her again and is like "you should come back after hours" on the third day she makes copies, gives to her boss and found out the Photocopier printed some weird like about villains and then her boss pukes everywhere and she's left to clean it up. Gives absolutely no reason for this man to have ejectiled vomit everywhere, moved on from that quickly cause though it was added, had nothing to do with the plot. She goes home, cleans up and then goes back to work to finally get it on with the Photocopier. Another side note, one of many, I would NEVER want to have sex after watching someone throw up and having to clean it up, like I don't even think she showered! Anywho, she sits on top of his area where the copying happens and then like opens up, idk how else to describe it and gets off by like a cog or some piece in the machine? Then she finishes and we're reminded hes also a 3D printer so he prints her a penis, that's...life like? And she gets on her knees and the Photocopier is somehow rocking "his hips" and whilst climaxing she's like I should steal so we can run away and the Photocopier then is like oh theft detected and for lack of a better word, gobbles her up. She goes into the machine and they combine somehow? Idk it was incredibl
y confusing and she had like the dick in her mouth and they're combining and the Photocopier says this is the only way we can be together. The end. I'm officially done with this author and his...stories. Feel like that's an insult to stories but whatever.
So we jump right in where Tatiana is speaking to a sentient Photocopier, why it is sentient, I don't know. But she's SUPER positive this thing wants to fuck her cause it says her name in a flirty way like all the other dudes in the office who flirt with her. Again, how a Photocopier can convey tone let alone flirtation, escapes me. But also my fault for expecting logic. So they flirt and he makes her copies she gives to her boss and the boss sucks and calls her Tats, terrible, would infuriate me so I get her pain. The next day the Photocopier flirts with her again and is like "you should come back after hours" on the third day she makes copies, gives to her boss and found out the Photocopier printed some weird like about villains and then her boss pukes everywhere and she's left to clean it up. Gives absolutely no reason for this man to have ejectiled vomit everywhere, moved on from that quickly cause though it was added, had nothing to do with the plot. She goes home, cleans up and then goes back to work to finally get it on with the Photocopier. Another side note, one of many, I would NEVER want to have sex after watching someone throw up and having to clean it up, like I don't even think she showered! Anywho, she sits on top of his area where the copying happens and then like opens up, idk how else to describe it and gets off by like a cog or some piece in the machine? Then she finishes and we're reminded hes also a 3D printer so he prints her a penis, that's...life like? And she gets on her knees and the Photocopier is somehow rocking "his hips" and whilst climaxing she's like I should steal so we can run away and the Photocopier then is like oh theft detected and for lack of a better word, gobbles her up. She goes into the machine and they combine somehow? Idk it was incredibl
y confusing and she had like the dick in her mouth and they're combining and the Photocopier says this is the only way we can be together. The end. I'm officially done with this author and his...stories. Feel like that's an insult to stories but whatever.