"We are both silent even when I'm loud. Terrified to say we don't want to hear ourselves. Terrified that if we say it once, everything will open up, we'll be cracked apart and what if there is no way to seal it all back up?"

I have thought the same thing. This book oddly resembles like the entire predicaments we have from those past 7 months of my father's passing. And even later and before that days. Those moments that I felt I was being tied. My throat was too tight to produce words out of my tongue. It gets tighter when I wanted to say things, but I just leave it with my conflicted thoughts. Even if I start waging war up against my own inner conscious. I can't tell him how I really felt about him, "I have suffered alongside with him". I can't bluntly spewed those words into his face. He can't bare. I can't bare his level of sensitivity. He will be hurt. When I already felt most of the pain while he was just continuing to make me feel miserable and I highly doubt he didn't even noticed it. His ignorance were not considered as a bliss to the people who have experienced being with him. I hate myself for thinking that way. And Evangeline felt the same way too. She do forgive but never forget. Wounds might heal, but scars will still remians. My father was the same as her Dad. Although, he wasn't a druggie as what the story implies. He might be living, away from heinous crimes and deceitful livelihood but my father still lacks the concept of a paternal support, the responsibility and obligation of a family's foundation and what truly matters for all of us.

"Your father says death will come for you, that everything will come for you, even if you are an island, even if you believe that things last forever. That all of this living forever is tiring"

Until my father succumbed to death without me telling him anything. Me, without talking things out. Me, who were just left even more miserable. Until now, I gradually carry this heavy load. I can't seems to let go of it easily unlike Evie. They were a lot of things that has been left unsaid and he should definitely listened to all of those things I kept hidden for soooo long. And it all went away. Just like how he went underground. Stagnant. Infested with creatures. Rotten. Thus somehow, be part of the cycle, over and over again.

This book truly speaks to me. I can feel some of the conversation between the author. Not just about our fathers. But also, how our mothers we're quite the opposites. How we have someone we can rely on and at the same time would be the caused of our greatest pain due to betrayal and ungodly illicited affairs.

It was touching. Reveries and woe. Yes. I was becoming emotional just from the few passage beca se it was oddly relatable. I felt intertwined with this book. Exactly when the first thing I've lay my eyes on the cover, I wasn't wrong of picking you up.

Thank you so much for such a wonderful read. And I agree that people might hate-and-loved this story.