The plot should have been fun (nope).
The characters should have been interesting (yawn).
The story telling should have been magical (it wasn't).

There's just nothing here. There are no glaring errors (although the style veers toward romance novel territory) but it just never ignites, despite the potential.

And, before you say "But at least there's pie!" let me just point out that no Southern pie artist worth her flaky crust would top a pie with canned whipped cream. Fluffy, mile high meringue or bust, honey!