I was a reluctant reader of this book. VERY reluctant. The only reason I picked it up was because I just reread the original series and my inner completionist felt obligated to push through this one. I didn't want to read it because I knew I would hate it. I knew that because I hate Nesta and this is Nesta's story... 750 pages of Nesta?? No, thank you! I knew everyone said this was her redemption arc and that their feelings changed once they understood her and blah blah blah. That meant nothing to me. I would not be swayed, my hate would live on, my loathing would be the rock upon which Nesta's so-called "redemption" would break. But here I am giving this book five stars... so what changed? Well, Nesta changed. Turns out I was not, after all, immune to her redemption. This book is a searing examination of someone who has sunken to the deepest pit of self-hate and despair. Someone who uses meanness to hide how much she hates herself. And as the layers are peeled back, as the hurts are laid bare, we start to see a complex journey from despair, through acceptance, and then to happiness. Festering wounds turn to scabs and then to healing, sometimes leaving permanent scars but nevertheless, healing. Anyone who, like myself, has struggled with self-hatred will find resonance in this book and will feel deep emotion following Nesta on her journey. I haven't felt connected to a character on this level in quite some time. Hats off to Mrs Maas for so accurately depicting such complicated and painful issues in a way that ultimately brings such satisfaction and peace. Well done, Mrs Maas, well done 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

Touching on a couple of other points, there is actually a solid plot here. I didn't know how there could be much plot at all, considering this book is set after the grand culmination in ACOWAR, but there is an interesting story that held my attention and clearly sets up some big things for future installments. And then there's the spice. Wow! I knew it would be spicy but I was not prepared for this... it is SPICY. The sexy-time dial is cranked up from the previous books so make no mistake, this is not jalapeño hot, this is ghost pepper hot 🥵 

All in all, I know when I've been beat and this is one of those times. I was wrong. I was not the rock that Nesta broke against, Nesta broke me right open. And if you pick this one up, I've no doubt she'll break you too. But don't worry, you'll be picked up and put together again by the end, and your heart will be better because of it. ❤️