3.5/5 stars.

Thank you to Netgalley, Park Row Books, and Harper Collins audio for this review copy!

Trigger Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Rape, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Physical Violence

Before reading Find Me in Havana , I had never heard of Estelita Rodriguez, the Cuban-American actress from the Golden Age of cinema. I requested this mostly on a whim, but I'm so glad I did. I've always enjoyed learning about film & Cuban history, so this was the perfect intersection of my interests.

This book is beautifully written - heartbreak upon heartbreak. We know from the start that Estelita dies at the age of 37 and this book chronicles the relationship between her and her daughter Nina throughout those years. Written in alternating, diary-like letters, we're able to see both Estelita and Nina's POVs of events that happened throughout their lives - spanning from Los Angeles, Mexico, and Cuba. It's primarily an exploration of their tenuous relationship and how they were never quite able to reach each other.

Parts of this book absolutely revolted me. I'm not normally affected by triggering elements in a book, but the

Spoiler

constant rape and sexual assault of minors was extremely difficult to get through. I know it happened, but it didn't feel like it really served a point, other than to show hwo traumatized Nina was.

Unfortunately, I had quite a bit of problem with the pacing of this book. While I understand the author piecemealed pieces of Nina & Estelita's actual life with fictionalized recreations, but it often felt like two entirely separate stories. You had the beginning of Estelita rescuing Nina from Mexico and then you have them trapped in Cuba. It didn't feel like either of those really fit together or flowed well. I also struggled about whether or not this was a biography or historical fiction - how much of it's actually fictionalized and how much did the author get from Nina? Thinking about that took me out of the story quite a bit.

Unrelated to the book, the audio for this was...horrendous. I'm not sure if it was the production quality itself or because it was through netgalley, but it was extremely monotonous and robotic sounding. While the narrators themselves were fantastic, the recording quality was not great and I struggled to get through it.

In all, I recommend this book. It is absolutely beautifully written and introduces you to a figure that not much is known about!