I am very mixed on this book. On the plus side, Heller writes in a breezy, understandable style with plenty of anecdotes based on his interview. He strongly advocates looking out for the best interests of the children first, and that fighting over incidentals is harmful and counter-productive. Taking the high road, being generous with your ex, even when it's against your desires, is the right thing to do.

But that's a really hard attitude to take when that *insert appropriate expletive* here is making unreasonable decisions with serious long-term consequences and winning a game of legal chicken by taking advantage of the fact that you're the reasonable person in the room. And I personally don't even have that bad of issues with my process! It is just difficult to always be the bigger person in the room.

Compared to the other books I've read, Heller is writing from the perspective of an amateur, a divorcee with kids rather than a lawyer or mediator, which is helpful because he's coming from the same place you are. His specific advice for a comprehensive marriage separation agreement covering all contingencies, especially move aways, and with recourse to a special master rather than a trial process for resolving disputes, is very useful, and I think comes from a long-term matter of having to live with the divorce rather than guide people through it.

While the high road sounds great, as the poet said, sometimes you have to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches.