I think I really took one for the team on this one, folks. There's just so much going on in this book. We have the absolutely dismal writing style and awkward pacing, dialogue fresh from a Jane Austen novel despite being set in early 2010's Seattle (at one point the two college kids say their men are "beguiled" with them), we have Ana Steele who was born and raised in a dark box away from society only to emerge as Christian Grey's perfect blank slate of a "partner" (I use less than polite terms in private company), we have Christian Grey who would be an absolute cringe incel if he wasn't so rich and handsome, and then we have SO MUCH lip biting, so many elevators, and SO MANY uses of the word "taciturn" that is never quite used correctly. 

The truly compelling aspect of this novel, which absolutely was not this novel's intention, was how Ana was so easily manipulated into an abusive relationship. This is textbook emotional (and towards the end, physical) abuse and I was physically screaming about how controlling Christian was regarding her boundaries and personal life choices. She endured a ton of this abuse on the concept of "but I love him and he's the only man I ever loved" and how he was nice to her some of the time which is so incredibly toxic but so realistic to how folks can end up in these situations. 

I would honestly give this book 2 stars because parts of it were still kinda fun and funny, especially out of context, but I was truly disturbed by the end of the book about how dark and controlling Christian became with FULL APPROVAL from everyone in Ana's life. Not a single soul stepped in to offer any meaningful guidance, aside from maaaaaaybe Kate who conveniently disappeared as soon as the getting got tough. 

Gross, awful, and poorly written. Worth all of the hate given to it.