First off, while I love Lolita for the quality of the writing, the subject matter really isn't something I enjoy hearing about. I felt like dry heaving throughout My Dark Vanessa. Jacob Strane is a grade A POS, super predatory, manipulative and loathe to accept responsibility for any of his actions. 15 year old Vanessa is groomed by 42 year old teacher Strane and it is gross from the jump, her perception of love and putting Strane at the core of who she is both infuriated me and broke my heart. I had a repeated visceral reaction to Strane and got increasingly annoyed with Vanessa who continues to defend Strane, even after he throws her metaphorically under the bus in a huge, toxic way. What is really at work here is Vanessa's denial and guilt and things SHE shouldn't be held responsible for - accepting what this guy who is supposed to guide her is telling her without acknowledging absolutely everybody around her telling her it is messed up. Her description of disassociating from her body with Strane and pretty much every other guy she hooks up with just underlines her denial: her words don't match what her body is telling her. It takes her well into her 30's to realize the wrong that was committed against her. I read this because of the TikTok hype but definitely not subject matter I would gravitate to. In fact, I really prefer not to read about the teacher/student abuses of power. It just makes me feel hopeless about humanity. Writing: great. Pacing: slightly slow. Storyline: jarring and repulsive. Overall a 3.5, but rounding up to 4.