All these years, they’ve been like two little plants sharing the same plot of soil, growing around one another, contouring to make room, taking certain unlikely positions.

That line right there, taken from the final pages of the book, perfectly describes the unusual dynamic between Marianne and Connell. Here are two young people who have grown alongside and apart from each other, often dealing with the mess and the uncertainty that comes when you are slowly learning who you are. Here are two young people who form an intense connection at such a pivotal point in their lives, working through various personal struggles and insecurities, in an effort to become just like everyone else, that is to say just like normal people.

I decided to reread Normal People in March, and it ended up being the only book I finished reading that month. There is just something about Marianne and Connell that keep me coming back to this book. Sure, they’re not very likable. They do shitty things to each other. They make stupid decisions. They make mistakes. And they learn from their mistakes. I love how human they feel to me. They are far from perfect, but that's what make them normal people.

Maybe they were just curious to observe the chemistry between two people who, over the course of several years, apparently could not leave one another alone.

Marianne and Connell are both seeking validation, but for slightly different things. Connell wants to know that he belongs, that he fits in. Marianne wants to know that there is nothing wrong with her, that she is worthy of love.

While reading the book, it was very interesting to see how their different upbringing played a role in how they viewed themselves and how they related to each other.

Connell has a positive and loving relationship with his mother, Lorraine. She is very supportive of him, but she is also assertive in calling him out on his bullshit. Connell is shy but well-liked at school, something he doesn’t really understand but he’s happy to go along with it anyway (see photo number).

In a way, this puts pressure on Connell to remain someone well-liked and socially accepted. He does not want to lose that social currency even though he doesn’t know how he got it in the first place. Connell often feels paralyzed, wanting but unable to do or say things.

Marianne, on the other hand, is raised in an abusive home. Her family may be wealthy, but her father and brother are violent towards her, and her mother ignores it and sometimes even condones it. She has no friends in school too, so she lives a very solitary life.

Because of this, she believes that something is wrong with her, that there is something inherently unlovable about her. Marianne is deeply affected by this, even though she acts like she is above it all. Eventually, she ends up in relationships with red-flag men because that’s the only dynamic she is familiar with.

When Marianne and Connell come together, they discover this intense connection that differs from everything else in their lives. Both of them feel like they can be themselves around each other. But of course, things aren’t that simple.

Their inability to communicate clearly with one another gets in their way multiple times throughout the years. From the beginning, they never really defined the relationship they have, and this also contributes to their complicated dynamic. And of course, their insecurities get in the way too.

For the first time, Marianne finds a person who likes her. Even though Connell wants to keep this thing about them secret, Marianne still feels a lot of joy surrounding this new development. She’s happy to be with him in private, she doesn’t care about other people in school anyway. Marianne is completely fine with this arrangement, until the Debs that is.

When Connell asks someone else to go to the dance with him, it begins a pattern: Marianne and Connell being together-but-not-really-together until they start dating other people. They reunite, then they part ways again. And again, and again.

I think part of the pull she feels is that Marianne knows that Connell won’t hurt her in the way other men in her life hurt and belittle her. With Connell, she feels good. There is pain and confusion there too, but things between them are mostly good.

On the other hand, Connell sees their secret relationship as a mess waiting to happen. He cannot reconcile his outer persona with his private one. He is always very worried about what other people would think, making it more difficult for Connell to actually do what he wants or say what he is thinking.

In private, Connell and Marianne have a good thing going on. But when outside pressures come knocking, Connell bolts and leaves Marianne to deal with the consequences and pick up the pieces.

By the end of the book, Marianne and Connell have been through so much. In the years since they first got together, they have learned a lot about themselves. They have learned how to be better people and how to communicate more clearly. They have also unlearned some of their more harmful patterns. But as we all know, healing isn't linear. And there is always room for more growth.

Marianne and Connell may be parting ways yet again, but things are different this time. They're both in a better place from when they were 18. Nothing is holding them back anymore. Things may change until they find each other again, but I just know that Marianne and Connell will be excited to discover these new versions of themselves.