I get why this book isn't everyone's cup of tea but if you like stories that are character rather than plot driven, a bit slice-of-life and full of long internal monologues, you will fall in love.

"...if renting all those movies had taught me anything more than how to lose myself in them, it was that you only actually have perfectly profound little moments like that in real life if you recognize them yourself, do all the fancy shot work and editing in your head, usually in the very seconds that whatever is happening is happening. And even if you do manage to do so, just about never does anyone else you're with at the time experience that exact same kind of moment, and it's impossible to explain it as it's happening, and then the moment is over."

Spoiler

I was scared this book would be the one dimensional evil family and administration vs. confused young girl but it's so much more. That's not to say it isn't a cliche because it DEFINITELY is but only the perfect amount to make it fun to read. The narrative is light-hearted and funny, Cameron has a recognizable voice that's snarky and sarcastic (super endearing imo) and the story has direction. All characters are well rounded and I loved every crush, friend, and even the antagonists, in some ways. It opens up very complex questions with equally complex characters. I think any author that makes you empathize with the bad guys is an amazingly good author.

I've heard vague homophobic Christian narratives but never faced it directly or really understood before. This book really opened my eyes to the other perspective, the (fantasy) idea that finding salvation really is for the best. It was portrayed so very realistically, with all characters well-intentioned in the most painful way. This novel does not excuse gay conversion in any way (undoubtedly the opposite) but it portrays the difficulty when you're underage and without freedom, when the people around just don't understand, and there just isn't a safety net available. When your family still loves you and you still love your family but no one knows how to handle it. Sometimes I wanted Cameron to lash out more than she did but she did not hate Ruth, Grandma, Rick, or even Lydia, they were not monsters, they just didn't understand. It's manipulative and abusive in many ways but so much more complex and I love that it was written this way, even as hard as it was to read.

The romantic and sexual experiences that Cameron had were some of the best I've read in published fiction. The two confused young best friends innocently experimenting/the first love that somehow never stops hurting, that one unapologetic political friend you wish you could be as open as, the painful "straight girl" crush, the boy who's just not bad, the celebrity fantasies you obsess over, and the ones that just don't click. I think any queer woman could relate in some, even tiny, way.

I would read this story on forever if I could. Every mundane little experience, the growth (or end) of her relationship with her family, and every subplot of every character, honestly. Adam and Jane were absolutely wonderful. I cannot wait to experience it in movie form, then to read and relive again.